Power and Responsibility
by pinkskyline
Summary: Merlin returns to Camelot and becomes court sorcerer. The Nemeth court visits. When Morgana returns, Merlin finds the most challenging conflicts come from within. Follows season 4 and my fic "Trickery and Lies".
1. Chapter 1

Merlin returned to Camelot with the expectation that Arthur's feelings towards magic might have softened somewhat. Perhaps he and Arthur could arrange some sort of distress signal Arthur could use to summon Merlin from his cave to Camelot in times of need, and perhaps one day, years from now, after some action of particularly brave and useful service, Merlin might be asked to stay. He did not think that the rest of Camelot would be so easy to persuade.

He had not taken the bards into account.

Merlin was a great favourite of the bards now, because of the events in Nemeth. Not only had a ridiculously long satire been written by Nemeth's master bard about Merlin telling off all of Nemeth's princes and lords, but since he had visited the bard's mansion, it seemed that every bard in Nemeth had some story to tell of his exploits in their land. The fight with the bandits had taken on epic proportions, and Merlin's journey into the land of the dead, which Merlin guessed Sir Gregory must have told a bard about, became a song with a hauntingly beautiful melody that spoke so highly of Merlin as to make him seem to almost be a god. The story of Merlin raising the "ghost" of Nemeth's late king to point the finger at his murderous brother, who just happened to be king at the time, became one of the most requested songs in all the taverns.

As it happened, the Nemeth was famous for its bards, and they often travelled to other lands, including Camelot.

And, so, suddenly, Merlin was a famous Warlock. The bards spoke of him as wise, and stern, and powerful beyond measure, but they also spoke of him as good. Merlin was surprised to find that when he returned to Camelot, most of the regular people he met in the lower town greeted him as a hero. Even the guards and knights looked at him with thinly veiled admiration.

And somehow Merlin had expected that Arthur could come through a few months without him unharmed, seeing as how he was now king and kept mostly safe in his castle with plenty of knights protecting him.

He had not taken the pixies into account.

Merlin first learned of the pixies from Gaius, who had recovered from his illness quite well, although it had held on for a bit longer than expected.

Merlin and Gaius were sitting at Gaius's kitchen table. Gaius had heated up some stew, and it was very much like old times.

"When did the pixies first arrive?" Merlin asked.

"Arthur and his knights came back from a hunting trip about a fortnight ago, and it seems the pixies followed them home," Gaius said.

"Why do you think they would do that?" Merlin asked.

"I do not know. At first they seemed helpful. They are not like the Sidhe—or at least not like the ones we've met. They would help people with their chores if shown the slightest bit of kindness," Gaius said.

"They help people with chores? I don't see the problem with that," Merlin said, grinning.

"No, you wouldn't," Gaius said in his least approving voice. "However, if you give a pixie a sweet and they do your chores for you, what do you do with the rest of your day?"

"I don't know. Relax?" Merlin said.

"Most people decided to drink mead and cause mischief," Gaius said.

"Which I am sure the pixies were only too pleased to help out with," Merlin guessed.

"Indeed," Gaius said. "However, it was a sennight ago that it all went even more wrong. King Arthur finally found out why his people were suddenly so shiftless and mischievous, and the taverns were full all day long."

"And I suppose he didn't take it well," Merlin guessed.

"No indeed. He made a law that any citizen who allowed anyone, pixie or person, to do their work for them, could not be paid for it—even if it was a potato from his own garden," Gaius said.

"How would he know?" Merlin asked.

Gaius looked at Merlin grimly. "Pixie dust does not wash off," he said shortly. He continued with his tale, "So everyone stopped slogging off their chores on the pixies, and consequently stopped giving the pixies sweets and other favours."

"And that upset them?"

"You've no idea," said Gaius. "They've been a very plague. They turn up plants in gardens and leave them to rot, spoil the milk, scare the horses, pick up small children and put them on the roof of their house…no one has died, but it's probably only a matter of time."

"That's terrible," Merlin said, trying to keep a straight face. He failed, laughing at some of the images Gaius had described.

"It's no laughing matter," Gaius said, but Merlin could see the corners of his mouth were reluctantly beginning to turn upwards, and then he began laughing, too.

Gaius's door opened without warning, and suddenly Arthur was in the room.

Any remaining laughter was cut off abruptly.

Arthur looked at Merlin grimly. "I see this is how seriously you take your banishment. You simply walk into the castle, greeting guards in a friendly manner and sit down for some stew with your old friend."

"I told you I'd come back whenever I wanted. It seems I should have come back a bit sooner," Merlin said, smiling slightly.

"You think my castle being corrupted by magic is funny? I blame you for this," Arthur said.

"Me? I wasn't even here," Merlin said indignantly.

"These tales of your exploits in Nemeth have my people thinking that magic is wonderful and good. They think they can associate with these pixies without any disaster falling down around their heads," Arthur snapped.

"The way I heard the story told, it was you who brought the pixies back here from a hunting trip," Merlin said derisively.

Arthur seemed deflated by Merlin's argument and dragged a chair from across the room to the small table where Gaius and Merlin were sitting. "It was," Arthur said, his voice dejected.

"How did you manage that?" Merlin asked, barely managing to keep the laughter out of his voice.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "You know me well enough to know how I get myself into these kinds of things. We went pretty far away to hunt this time, and the land was somewhat unfamiliar. There was this grove that all the local hunters refused to enter, because there was supposed to be little green people there, and all the game was theirs. I didn't listen."

"At least you didn't kill a unicorn," Merlin said.

"Merlin, can you stay here and help us?" Arthur said. "I think the people will understand the need for at least one person in the kingdom that can perform magic after this episode."

"So you won't bring magic back to the kingdom, but you'll keep me around to fight it?" Merlin asked, oddly disappointed, even though it was more than he had hoped for.

"I thought that's what you wanted," Arthur said. He rose, straightening his clothes. "I understand from the bards that it's rare for you not to get what you want."

Merlin didn't like his tone. It wasn't friendly, and it was evident that Arthur hadn't forgotten Merlin's earlier deception. "I take it you will use my skills in matters of great need, and try to ignore my existence for the rest of the time," he said.

"We're no longer friends, Merlin. I'm not saying we can't ever be friends again, but the fact is, that you are not who you said you were. I don't know you at all," Arthur said.

"I have always tried to be a friend to you, Arthur. I'm sorry that I had to lie to you to do it," Merlin said.

Arthur crossed his arms impatiently. He obviously felt Merlin should be gratefully running around collecting pixies, not defending himself to Arthur. "Well? What can you do about the pixies?"

"I don't know," Merlin said, looking at Gaius. "I'm sure you've done the research. Is there some way to use magic to persuade them to leave?"

"I don't want them to leave, I want them dead," Arthur said viciously.

"I suspect it's not even possible to kill them," Gaius said. "I did find reference to a spell that is supposed to make fairy-folk itch. If they itched around Camelot, they might not come back."

"And that is to be Camelot's response to being terrorised for weeks? The creatures at fault might get a little itchy?" Arthur asked dryly.

"Did you have a better idea, Arthur?" Merlin asked. He waited but Arthur made no reply. He turned to Gaius. "How do I do this spell, exactly?"

"I don't know. I only know the name of it," Gaius said. "I have no spell books, only reference books."

Merlin's eyes lit up. "You should see all the spell books I have! Mithian gave me about ten of them when I left Nemeth. They're amazing! Years of knowledge in the fields of—" Merlin glanced at Arthur and cut himself off. He got up and walked over to his saddle bag, and took out some spell books. He placed them on the table and then focused his attention on them, looking for a spell to make fairies itch. One of them opened on its own and Merlin began reading.

"I do not think you should use magic in such a frivolous way," Arthur said stiffly.

"Oh, don't be such a prig," Merlin said distractedly. He was trying to focus on the spell in front of him. "You either want me to do magic or you don't."

"Perhaps I don't," Arthur said.

Merlin paused, and looked up from the book. "I've always used magic to help me with tedious chores. If I hadn't, I probably would have thrown myself off the battlements out of sheer boredom when I was your servant. It never hurt either of us. I know it's hard for you to see me casually do magic, but trust me. I wouldn't do any magic that was dangerous; not without good reason."

"That's just it," Arthur said. "I _can't_ trust you."

Merlin didn't bother replying, and Arthur left the room. If Arthur didn't believe Merlin had proven his loyalty at this point, then what exactly would it take?


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur closed Gaius's door and leaned against it for a moment. It had been good to see Merlin again. Too good. Merlin was the only person in the world who contradicted Arthur as a matter of course every time he was wrong—Gwen would reluctantly speak up against him in private in matters of great importance, but Merlin just simply wasn't afraid of hurting him, or being hurt by his power.

Arthur had always supposed Merlin was not afraid of him because he trusted Arthur that much; he realized now that there was simply very little that Merlin feared. Arthur had always accused Merlin of hiding during battle, but he would have had to hide to be able to do magic to defend Arthur without anyone seeing. The only time Arthur could think of when Merlin had truly seemed frightened was when they encountered the dorocha, and in the end Merlin had thrown himself in its path and survived—the only mortal to ever do so.

Arthur really should have suspected something then.

Of course, he had saved Arthur's life that day, too. One of many times he could think of, and Arthur was certain there were many more he was unaware of.

How could he not trust Merlin? Merlin had never failed him when it mattered. Trusting Merlin was something he did instinctively now, like breathing.

And yet, there was the law. There was the kingdom. There were memories of the things his father had taught him that had made him a good king, and every one of those memories was all tangled up in ideas that he must fight magic everywhere he found it.

Camelot must be civilized; freed from the powerful tyrants who controlled the destinies of the people with their magical whims. And wasn't that just what Merlin had done in Nemeth? From all accounts, the man he had exposed as a murderer would never have made a good king, but who was Merlin to say that? What qualified him, except the fact that he had the power to get whatever he wanted done?

And when exactly had Mithian gone from Princess Mithian, to just plain Mithian? Merlin hadn't really been in Nemeth for that long, had he?

Arthur rounded the corner and entered his royal chambers, finding Gwen at her desk working on something. "Guess who is in Camelot?" he asked her.

"Merlin," Gwen said. Gwen was friends with everyone in the castle from the lowliest kitchen boy to the king himself, so she was always the first to know anything.

"I should know better than to think I could tell you anything about Camelot you didn't already know," Arthur said, leaning down and kissing her lightly on the cheek.

"And how is he?" she asked.

"Exactly as he ever was, I believe," Arthur said. "I just never knew it."

"Did you ask him about this pixie problem?" Gwen asked.

"I did. He and Gaius are working on it," Arthur said. He sat heavily in a chair by the fire. "I've asked Merlin to stay and be our official—warlock? Wizard? Whatever," he finished.

"You did?" Gwen asked. She looked cautiously pleased.

"Was I wrong to do it?" he asked.

"Only time can tell," Gwen said. She rose from her seat and went to sit on the arm of Arthur's chair, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I don't believe that Merlin would ever do anything to deliberately harm anyone in Camelot. But this is magic, and we have seen how it can backfire and harm people who try to use it for good. I hope Merlin is an exception."

"You're not being wildly reassuring," Arthur said dryly.

Gwen smiled slightly. "When I found out about Morgana's magic, I somehow knew, I _felt_ that she meant to use it to do harm to us all. There was something very dark in her expression as she used magic. I have never felt anything like that with Merlin. But the power he is said to possess is immense. What if something turned him against us the way Morgana turned against us? We could not fight them both."

"I hope you realize that our main source of information on Merlin's power has been bards. I have had a scratch from a training exercise that became a near fatal wound from an epic fight to the death about fidelity and honour, according to the bards," Arthur said.

"And yet he must be as powerful as they say. Even Morgana runs from the full power of Camelot, yet Merlin walked right up the castle without fear. Merlin told you he didn't fear you or your army. Do you think that was just boasting?"

"Whatever else he does, he does not boast," Arthur said. "At any rate, he will take care of the pixies as soon as he is able."

"And how did Gaius look when he realized Merlin was back to stay?" Gwen asked.

"He tried to stay expressionless, but it was like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He seemed years younger, all of a sudden. He has been trying to deal with all magical threats to the kingdom himself, without using magic, since Merlin left. It was too great a burden to place on him, especially since he's also expected to treat the sick and injured."

"I am glad for him," Gwen said. "He thinks of Merlin as a son, and Merlin takes good care of him in return."

"And what about you?" Arthur asked. "Merlin was your best friend. Will you go and see him?"

"I will wait a bit. I know that he and Gaius have many things to catch up on, and Gwaine and some of the other knights will probably call on him today. I will go and see him tomorrow," she said.

"Oh yes. I had forgotten that you have been in contact with Merlin all this time," Arthur said, with a bitter taste in his mouth. Somehow they had never found the time to discuss that, since Arthur had discovered it. Perhaps Arthur had been reluctant to chide her for doing what he would have done, if he hadn't been king. He didn't have the luxury of flaunting the law—he_ was_ the law.

"Do you mind it?" Gwen asked. "I couldn't turn away from him. I didn't know what to think—but even when I've been at my worst, Merlin has always been there for me, no matter what. I could not turn my back on him."

Arthur smiled gravely. "I couldn't ask you to. I can't ask you to be someone you are not, and you are a good friend."

"I hope I am a good wife, too. I would never want to hurt you by going against your wishes," Gwen said.

"As Merlin is so pleased to tell me, I am frequently wrong. You must do what you think it is right, regardless of my opinion in the matter. I wouldn't want you to do anything else," Arthur said.

"Not one man in a thousand would say such a thing to his wife," Gwen said fondly.

"I know I was wrong to expose Merlin as a sorcerer in front of the entire court. I should have spoken to him in private. You know, even now I've never heard an explanation of how a warlock becomes the protector of a king who despises magic?"

"Perhaps you should speak to him now," Gwen said.

"Not now," Arthur said. "I wouldn't want to distract him from the pixies. I don't know how this magic business works, but I want these bothersome creatures gone."

"It would be nice to get in a bath without finding a live trout in it," Gwen said.

"Or spiders in the bed," Arthur added.

"Or snakes in the soup," Gwen said, shuddering.

"On second thought, perhaps I'll just go back to Gaius's chambers and hurry Merlin along," Arthur said. "The sooner things go back to normal in this kingdom, the better."


	3. Chapter 3

"Do you really think that's necessary?" Merlin asked.

"Oh yes, it's the only way," Gaius said.

They both looked up as Arthur returned to the room. "What is the only way?" he asked.

"I was hoping there was a more subtle way to spell Camelot to be inhospitable to pixies, but apparently the only spell we can find requires me to, sort of, stand on the battlements and shout a spell that then covers Camelot in a foggy, red glow," Merlin said.

"Forever?" Arthur asked.

Merlin tried to supress a smile at Arthur's tone of dismay. "No, just for a couple of hours. But your people will certainly know that magic is being used to rid the town of the pixies."

"I would have told them in any case," Arthur said. "Deception is not in _my_ nature."

"It hasn't had to be," Merlin said sharply, looking at Arthur. "_Your_ nature has not been outlawed since before you were born."

Arthur would have said something in reply, but Gaius raised his hand. "Perhaps you should address the court, and send some knights to the lower town to give an announcement about what to expect. We wouldn't want to cause a panic."

"I'll do that," Arthur said. "Are you ready, _Mer_lin?"

Merlin picked up the book and made ready to follow Arthur. He tried not to hope that the familiar tone of annoyance had anything to do with his and Arthur's friendship getting back to normal. A lot of the time when Arthur used that tone, it wasn't teasing; he was simply annoyed with Merlin. He knew Arthur was not used to defiance, but Merlin had decided before he returned to Camelot that he would make no more apologies for who and what he was. He was not ashamed of who he was, and he would not allow Uther's ghost to make him thus.

"I'm ready," Merlin said.

"Don't you need any eye of newt or leg of toad or something?" Arthur asked.

"No," Merlin said. "I have everything I need."

Arthur proceeded to the throne room and asked for a guard to assemble the court. Arthur looked over at Merlin with a look of vulnerability he couldn't hide. "My father never had to ask for magical help."

"Yes he did. He asked Nimueh to help him have a son," Merlin said.

"Did you lie to me about that, too?" Arthur said. "Was it the way Morgause said?"

"I believe so," Merlin said. "Gaius confirmed it. I had no reason to suspect she was lying."

"Then why did you say she was?" Arthur asked.

"Why do you think?" Merlin said. "Could you have really been the man you are today if you had struck your father down in the prime of his life?"

"But if I had killed my father and sided with magic, you would have been free to be yourself. And Morgana might be here still, by my side," Arthur said.

"And just think—you might never have known she was your sister, and the two of you might have gotten married and lived happily ever after," Merlin said flippantly.

"Good god!" Arthur said.

"Or she might have tried to kill you anyway. She almost murdered Uther long before she knew she had magic, or that she was his daughter, when Uther killed Gwen's father," Merlin said. "If you did not rule the kingdom the way she wanted you to, she might have tried to kill you, too."

"Do you really believe that?" Arthur asked.

"I tried to turn Morgana from the path of hatred and revenge many times. Nothing I did could alter her destiny," Merlin said.

The room was starting to fill up, and Merlin sensed that he had given Arthur a lot to think about. He linked his hands behind his back and stood to the right of the throne, slightly behind Arthur. Gwen smiled at him as she walked to her throne on Arthur's left.

Merlin looked at the knights. Gwaine was smiling at him proudly, but many of the other knights wore carefully guarded looks. Merlin supposed they might be worried about this new development. How would magic returning to the land affect them, and their position in Camelot? He supposed they wondered if he might displace them in importance with the king; it wasn't possible, of course—the knights were as much a part of Camelot as Arthur was—but Merlin supposed it was natural for them to fear change.

"Thank you for assembling so quickly," Arthur said. "Merlin has agreed to use magic to drive away the pixies. I fear it is the only way. I suppose we could learn to live with their pestering, but I would hate to drive my people away out of sheer stubbornness. The spell he is going to use won't have any effect on people, but there will be a red fog that will settle over Camelot for a time."

"And it will drive away the pixies?" one of the knights asked.

"The fog will last for a couple of hours, and by the time it fades, the pixies will have been driven off," Merlin said.

The people assembled relaxed visibly.

"And what of Merlin's banishment?" Gwaine asked.

Arthur looked around at his people. "I may have been wrong about magic. I am not ready to say that I will allow my people to practice magic, but I think it wise to have one person I trust to counter any magical attacks. Therefore I bestow upon Merlin the title of court sorcerer."

The people assembled looked at each other with wary confusion. Merlin imagined they were reluctant to show any emotion either way. If they applauded, and it turned out Merlin was evil (as many of them certainly suspected), then they might be suspect when his evil deeds were discovered. If they failed to applaud, they could face the anger of a sorcerer. In the end the announcement was greeted with a brief smattering of applause, mostly from those who knew Merlin well.

"Shall I warn the people of the lower town about this spell?" Sir Leon asked.

"Yes. Please inform as many people as you can. The last thing we want is for anyone to panic," Arthur said.

When the company began to disperse, Gwaine approached Merlin and hugged him tightly. "Good to have you back where you belong," he said.

"What have you been up to? No trouble, I hope," Merlin said.

"Nothing serious," Gwaine said. "I should have come with you to Nemeth. There are far too few songs about me."

"You say that now, but you'd probably feel differently if everywhere you went you tripped over a bard singing your praises," Merlin said, rolling his eyes.

"I suppose you're right. Men clearing a path as you walk in quiet respect, women fainting with love at your feet. Sounds like rubbish to me," Gwaine said.

"It_ is_ rubbish," Merlin muttered, but Gwaine just laughed at him.

"Seems like Arthur has forgiven you. He told the entire court he trusts you," Gwaine said.

"He lied," Merlin said flatly.

"Oh," Gwaine said. He was only discouraged for a moment, and then smiled and said, "Well, I still trust you."

Merlin looked at Gwaine sidelong, smiling. "And I've never quite understood what I did to inspire your trust so quickly or thoroughly. But I am glad of it."

"Come Gwaine," Arthur said as he approached the two. "Join us on the battlements. You can watch Merlin perform his spell."

Merlin suspected Arthur only asked Gwaine to join them because he did not want to be alone with Merlin. Merlin couldn't blame him; every time they were alone Merlin exposed another piece of the puzzle of things Merlin had kept from him. He wondered if when all the pieces were exposed Arthur would see that Merlin had done the best he could. He dreaded the moment when he had to admit that he had released the dragon.

How many people had died in that attack?

He should know that number. He was responsible for each one of their deaths. He should know how many men and women and children he had doomed with his actions, never mind the fact that his friendship with the dragon had since probably saved as many lives as Kilgharrah took during those attacks.

He tried to put it from his mind, concentrating on the spell he was to perform. He hoped it worked the first time. He had been practicing his magic a lot; and, now that he no longer had to hide it, Merlin had been getting spells right the first time more and more. He knew many of the words in the old tongue which he used to struggle over.

When they reached the battlements overlooking all of Camelot, Merlin opened his book to the correct page and asked Gwaine to hold the book open for him. Without any further warning, he shouted the words on the page and felt his eyes burn with the fires of magic.

Gwaine nearly dropped the book. He stepped back in alarm and fear, and Merlin tried not to feel hurt by that. He supposed it was one thing to know a friend had magic, and it was another thing to see the proof of it.

Arthur was looking at Camelot. There was a red mist seeping into every part of the place. "This had better work, Merlin," he said.


	4. Chapter 4

Morgana adjusted her dress to show more cleavage, unused to the confinement and delicacy of the clothes of her former rank. Or, she supposed, her current one. She was still a princess, after all, even if she lived in a hovel and wasn't currently a queen. All in good time, she thought, smiling to herself as she smudged dirt on her cheek, but not in a way that would make her look any less attractive.

She thought the green of her dress brought out her eyes, and remembered Gwen saying how well she looked in green.

Gwen.

Who was queen of Camelot.

For now.

She remembered the painstaking way Gwen had done her hair, arranged her dresses, lit her candles, put her to bed, woken her up in the morning, and generally taken care of her as if she had been a life-sized doll…It had been so smothering after she returned from her year of freedom with Morgause. Morgana had become so used to wearing and doing whatever she pleased…and now she was choosing to put herself back into that box, where she was just an object to be fussed over…without agency, or desire…a helpless noblewoman. The thought made her want to gag…but it was of little consequence. Soon she would have Camelot, and she could resume doing whatever she pleased to whomever she pleased, without apology.

She only had to seem like a harmless, helpless noblewoman for a few weeks. She could do that, surely. Even though it was a role she'd never played in her life. Even before she'd known she had magic, she'd always been able to take care of herself and anyone else who needed taking care of, whether with a sword, a bandage, or a harsh word.

But she'd heard that in Nemeth strong women were not thought highly of, so she'd decided to go with playing a helpless noblewoman, alone and afraid.

She had considered coming to Nemeth as herself, but _Merlin_ had ruined that, as he ruined everything. They'd never believe her now that Merlin had somehow made himself a national hero in their backwards little kingdom.

Merlin.

Merlin!

Who had somehow wormed his way into a position in Camelot as a court wizard, she heard, even though magic was still illegal. Who had been a thorn in her side for years, destroying every whisper of a plan she had ever had.

Who had poisoned her.

Who killed her_ sister_.

Who should be on_ her_ side.

How many times had he helped Uther? _Why_ would he help Uther? She had loved Uther as a father, even before she had known that was what he truly was, and yet _her_ resolve had not wavered.

What was Merlin's excuse?

Was he weak, or a coward, or what? Couldn't he see the glorious future that could stretch out before them, unfurling like the dawn? A world where magic was accepted—no, revered—and everyone without it could taste the fear they had made her taste—like bile, or blood, a metallic and hateful knot that stuck in the throat and could never be fully swallowed.

The world was theirs for the taking, and all he had decided to do with his power was prevent her from taking what should be hers.

Theirs.

She had to accept the fact that when her kingdom rose from the ashes of Arthur's, she would need the support of men like Merlin. If Merlin survived her coup, he could have a place in her kingdom if he wanted it. A man of such power would be better as a friend than an enemy.

Even Arthur was not such a fool that he would turn the warlock away.

And she could learn much from him, it seemed. He walked in Camelot without fear. It was a trick she should like to learn.

If she could persuade Merlin to join her, she would have already won. But how could she convince him to turn away from Arthur when she never could understand why he chose to side with Arthur in the first place? Why not side with her?

They were the same.

They were both ruthless, and deceitful, and brave, and decisive and absolutely unstoppable. And they shared magic.

Yes, Merlin was Arthur's friend, but what of that? What was a friend, compared to the world scrapping its knees in its eagerness to kneel at your feet?

When she thought of how many times she had spoken to Merlin of magic—and he had never once mentioned the fact that he was, in fact, a being of magic himself, and was at least as powerful as she was. It might have been a great comfort, to know that she was not alone. To know that he'd wrestled with the same dilemmas that she had wrestled with. He had said he understood what she had gone through.

However, he'd never mentioned wrestling with anything.

He'd certainly never mentioned the fact that he was almost certainly Emrys, the one destined to kill her.

Well, she could have a lot of fun before he killed her.

Or she could change her fate.

A patrol had stopped her when she was barely over the border. Apparently the boy-king much lauded in song ran his kingdom with some efficiency. Well it saved her the trouble of screaming and crying for hours to an empty forest, and for that she was grateful.

The knight who picked her up and placed her on his horse (after much maidenly protestation on her part, of course, about the need to sit so close to a _man_), was handsome in the clean-cut, boring way that all knights seemed to be. Morgana felt a bit reminiscent for Sir Gwaine, who at least looked the rogue even if he didn't always act it.

She realized she had become a bit less hysterical while she had been lost in her thoughts and proceeded to call out and sob, clinging to the knight in front of her with her fingernails, nearly losing it and laughing at the way he jumped in response.

Yes, men _had_ always been this easy.

It always caught her by surprise, just a little, when they fell in line with all her plans. Agravaine had been pathetically grateful for the opportunity to commit treason just because she asked him to. Could they all be so boringly predictable?

Well, not all.

There was Merlin. He always seemed to thwart her, no matter how pretty her frock was. He, she supposed, deserved a bit more respect than she gave the rest of them. And he certainly wasn't overly concerned with honesty and playing fair.

Poisoners rarely were.

She imagined the boy-king wouldn't be so easy to fool, either, simply because he probably was too young yet to be attracted to her, and he had been born a peasant, like Merlin, and probably hadn't yet been infected with the foolishness of noblemen—to be obsessed with helping the helpless and whatever other swill they were feeding the knights these days.

Morgana had always found those ideas of chivalry and honour faintly ridiculous, especially since they seemed to be principally designed to keep strong women at home pining or watching faithfully in the stands where they couldn't cause any bother.

Not causing any bother was more Gwen's style. She could have it.

However, Morgana was forgetting herself. She should be trying to act just like Gwen. She was trying to be a helpless female, and although Gwen was hardly helpless, she always seemed so _appreciative_ of everything. Her gratitude for any kindness was faintly sickening to Morgana, who had grown up the object of coos and adoration and respect and couldn't really imagine deserving anything but those things no matter how despised she knew herself to be.

She must try to be like Gwen. What would Gwen say if rescued in the forest?

Bravery…chivalry…honour…helping the helpless…would anyone really believe such bunk?

The hardy peasant stock who had taken over the throne would certainly see through her, which is why she had decided to stage her little one woman invasion when they were gone.

To Camelot.

To meet with the king.

The one who sat on _her_ throne.

…But not for long.


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur was in the courtyard, waiting with a group of knights for King Donal and his retinue to arrive. Arthur knew the retinue included the boy's parents, his brother, and his Aunt Princess Mithian.

He didn't know why she had to come. It was embarrassing enough remembering his stammeringly nervous courtship of her, but worse to think about how he had broken off their engagement with little finesse and an inadequate apology.

It seemed she did not mind, though, as she continued to come back to Camelot. This was her second visit in as many months.

Arthur regretted not letting Merlin join him in the courtyard to wait for the party for probably the tenth time, but it had just seemed too much like before. Merlin was no longer his manservant, and he did not need to be at this kind of official occasion. He had allowed Merlin to work as a sorcerer in an official capacity, but having the man by his side on state visits was a bit much. It would be too much acceptance of magic, too fast.

However, the entire visiting royal party knew Merlin and probably would have been put at ease by his presence.

When the party rode up Arthur tried to tell the royalty from their servants and couldn't. No one was dressed shabbily, but there was no overt display of wealth, either, not even crowns. They had not let sudden royal status go to their heads, apparently.

"Greetings, King Arthur," the boy Arthur presumed to be King Donal said.

"May I present my nephew, King Donal?" Mithian said, stepping in.

"Very nice to meet you," Arthur said.

"My servant can show you to your rooms. I hope you will join me and Queen Guinevere for some refreshments in the feast room when you are finished freshening up," Arthur said.

Arthur fled the scene before anyone could speak to him. He retreated to the feast room, to see how preparations were going. The room looked excellent, and it might have been old times. Merlin and Gwen were off in a corner chatting about something, just as they always had been.

Arthur went to join them.

"And how does it look?" Gwen asked Arthur, gesturing toward the room.

"It looks wonderful. I wish you would have come out to greet the guests with me," Arthur said. "I never seem to be at my best where Nemeth is concerned."

"I hope you're not talking to me. Because I was expressly told not to attend," Merlin said.

"And you choose now to start listening to me?" Arthur complained.

He knew Gwen didn't have any particular problem with Mithian, but she reminded both of them of a time when Gwen had been banished because of her betrayal. And Merlin had since told Arthur about the spell that Gwen had been under that made her seem like a deer–and the fact that without knowing it Mithian had shot her. Arthur understood that Gwen's feelings for the girl were complicated, so he chose to pretend he had been speaking Merlin.

Merlin laughed and looked around for someone else to talk to, apparently preparing to leave Gwen because Arthur had returned. Arthur almost protested–he should like to talk to Merlin for a time. It was his own fault, he knew, for having avoided Merlin since he had gotten rid of the pixies. The entire time Merlin had been gone Arthur had been thinking about ways to get him back without compromising who he was, and what the kingdom was, and now that Merlin was back, all he was doing was pushing him away.

Merlin walked away and joined a group of knights who were chatting together. Arthur was amazed at the easy way the group opened to include him and then they were soon all laughing and talking together. It seemed Merlin had finally found a place he belonged in the kingdom, the equal of anybody, and everyone's friend. No other sorcerer could have gone from being a figure of terror and fright to such blanket acceptance so quickly.

Arthur wished he could change his thinking where Merlin was concerned, but it wasn't just the lying. It was the fact that Merlin had played a fool–and Arthur had believed him. He had cared for that fool, and now, it seemed, the confident, able, wise, person that Arthur had seen occasional glimpses of was the true Merlin.

Arthur sort of missed the fool.

"You could just talk to him," Gwen said.

Arthur realized he'd been watching Merlin since the man walked away. He could hardly deny missing him. "Do you ever miss the boy who used to trip over his feet and drop everything and get locked in the stocks?"

"He's still there," Gwen said, "Just as I am still the girl who used to scrub this floor."

"You don't think that was just an act?" Arthur asked.

"Please," Gwen said, "how could it have been? He couldn't have been acting all the time. He really was a terrible servant. I think he'd still be a terrible servant even now, if you want to see him fumble around and get himself in trouble again."

"Oh, our guests have arrived," Arthur said.

He started to join them, but they had spotted Merlin. Princess Mithian, who Arthur had previously thought of as cool, reserved, and in control of her emotions, ran to Merlin and hugged him tightly. Merlin smiled in his friendly way and hugged her back.

"Poor girl," Gwen said. "She's obviously in love with him."

"What? No, she's just grateful to him," Arthur said. "That's just a simple hug. Gwaine hugs Merlin all the time. Do you think _Gwaine_ is in love with Merlin?"

"Oh, I see, that's why there's tears in her eyes and she won't let go of him, even though her nephew wants to talk to Merlin, too," Gwen said.

"Would it really be such a bad thing if she was in love with him?" Arthur asked.

"Merlin wouldn't hurt her on purpose, but he obviously doesn't love her," Gwen said.

"How can you possibly know that? Has he told you that?" Arthur asked.

"Just look at them, Arthur!" Gwen said.

Arthur saw nothing to justify Gwen's little noises of sympathy, but he nodded his head as though he did. The couple were talking animatedly together, and now the rest of the party had joined in the conversation.

"Oh the poor thing! I really should talk to her. Merlin is a tough one to get over," Gwen said.

"Wait, how would you know?" Arthur said, following her.

"Did you seriously not know I had feelings for Merlin at one time?" Gwen asked. "Sometimes I think he threw us together so much in the past simply to help me get over him."

"I was very happy pretending I didn't know and never thinking about it," Arthur grumbled, following his wife.

Well, at least it seemed that Gwen and Mithian had something in common other than him, which made him feel marginally better about the visit. The fact that Mithian could possibly be in love with Merlin–he couldn't contemplate it. He wouldn't. It would go in the same category as Gwen having had feelings for Merlin at one time: Things about Merlin he didn't think about. He should probably add the fact that Gwen thought of Merlin as the one who had brought the two of them together. It was so obvious–and yet he'd never let himself think about it before, and he certainly wasn't keen to start thinking about it now.

But he couldn't put everything he knew about Merlin that made him uncomfortable in some inaccessible corner of his mind, could he? He had to actually know Merlin as he really was, because not seeing the man clearly was what had gotten their friendship in this mess in the first place. He was not like Gwaine, who could simply accept Merlin's magic as if it changed nothing, or the other knights, who Arthur suspected were willing to let things go back to the way they had been because Arthur seemed to trust Merlin.

He had to know who Merlin really was, because despite what Arthur had told Merlin, he _did_ trust Merlin, with his family, his kingdom, and his life.

Without Merlin, Arthur would probably be married to Mithian right now, and a thorough prat, too, if he hadn't actually died years ago. That being the case, he _had_ to trust Merlin, or admit that he had allowed a charlatan to shape who he was and what he did and thought, and even who he loved. No other friend had had more influence, and no other friend had ever taught Arthur so much about what it meant to be a good friend, and a good person, and a good king.

He should be spending as much time with Merlin as possible–learning everything there was to know. After all, only a fool would allow a stranger to shape his destiny.

Arthur had allowed Merlin to return because he wanted him there, but it wasn't a good enough reason. He was a king. Any man who had as much influence with a king as Merlin did was already in possession of a frightening amount of power–but then there was the magic, too.

Arthur looked over at Merlin, who was shadowboxing with the young king's older brother. He could not ignore Merlin any more. And Merlin could no longer cling to his secrets.

Otherwise, there was no way Arthur could in good conscience allow Merlin to remain in Camelot.


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin walked out of the room, not sure what to think about Mithian's greeting. Although she had told him that she loved him, he had never believed that a princess would greet him so–lovingly. In public. For a moment he'd been afraid she would kiss him again.

Not that she was terrible to kiss, but he really didn't fancy suddenly finding himself engaged to a princess. He liked her and all, but he had so many important things to do. And he didn't think he would ever feel that unreserved desire to leave his destiny behind for love that he had felt for Freya again–not because he could never love again, because he was sure he would–but because he had been young, and his destiny had chaffed and bitten him so much then. It had been hard and far off and unbelievable to think that Arthur could ever be a great king and Merlin could help him get there. Now it seemed so close, and so real, that he was not going to neglect his destiny just because a beautiful, wonderful woman loved him.

"Merlin. You're just the person I was looking for," Arthur said.

"Really?" Merlin said. "And here I thought you were avoiding me."

"I was avoiding you," Arthur said. "But I realized that I can't do that anymore. I need to talk to you. I need to know everything there is to know about you."

"Why?" Merlin asked.

"Isn't it obvious? Because you know everything there is to know about me. It's only fair I know everything there is to know about you," Arthur said.

Merlin eyed Arthur cautiously. He thought Arthur had been quite happy pretending Merlin didn't exist, or at least, only as Gaius's assistant. He knew there were things about himself that Arthur would hate. The poisoning. The dragon. Uther's death. "And you thought a state visit would be the perfect time for this?"

Arthur leaned a bit closer to Merlin. "Gwen is convinced that Princess Mithian is in love with you. Perhaps it's best that you not spend too much time with her. And we all know the true purpose of the visit is for Donal to meet Gwen and talk to her about how to go from being a commoner to a royal with absolute grace, so I really don't need to be around too much, either."

"Princess Mithian? Love me? No. That's shocking," Merlin said, trying to lie convincingly.

Arthur looked at him closely. "You can't be serious. Gwen was right, and you knew? Why is she always right?"

"She generally only speaks up if she is certain of something," Merlin observed.

"Well, tell me about Mithian," Arthur said.

Merlin looked around nervously. "Here, in the corridor?"

"Of course not here," Arthur said. "Let's go to Gaius's chambers."

"I don't want to talk about this in front of Gaius," Merlin protested. "I just know he'll find a way to disapprove of me."

"I don't want to go to my chambers. Someone is sure to find me, there," Arthur said.

"Well I don't know where we can go where no one will find you," Merlin said. "I mean, you _are_ the king. Someone is sure to recognize you wherever you go."

Arthur was thinking. "Do you know, long ago, when my father was first king, there was an old sorcerer who lived here and advised him?"

"Did he tell you that?" Merlin asked.

"No," Arthur said. "Follow me."

Merlin followed Arthur into a part of the castle that was rarely used. Merlin had snooped around a bit but found nothing of interest–well, except the door that was always kept locked. He had always been curious about that.

And it was to that very door that Arthur walked. When they arrived he took a key from his belt and opened the door. Inside, there was a winding staircase up a tower. "I found the locked door when I was young, but never opened it until my father first gave me duties as a prince and the keys to the castle. I asked Gaius about it. He told me it used to be the sorcerer's room."

They walked to the top of the tower and Arthur opened the door. The room was circular, dusty, and filled with the remnants of someone's life.

"I suppose anything magical was destroyed or locked in the vault?" Merlin asked.

"It was. Some of the books might be of some interest to you, though," Arthur said.

"To me?" Merlin asked.

"I just thought perhaps you'd like some space of your own. I know you and Gaius work all day together and will probably still take your meals together, but you're hardly just an apprentice, now. You should at least have your own separate chamber," Arthur said.

"And if you ever decide to change your mind about me using magic, you can lock the door and keep me up here forever," Merlin said, only half joking.

Arthur looked at Merlin. "I meant no offense. If I thought of a room that was out of the way for you, it was mostly because I wanted to be able to occasionally hide out without servants or courtiers being able to find me. It was not to hide you from sight."

"In that case, I would be pleased to accept the room. Maybe I should clean it a bit before we actually use it, though," Merlin said.

"Can't you just–" Arthur gestured obscurely, obviously meaning that Merlin should use magic to clean the room.

"I thought you didn't want me to use magic when I didn't have to," Merlin said.

Arthur threw up his hands in exasperation. "Just clean the room however you want. I will wait in the stairwell."

Merlin picked up all the loose papers and shook them, then put them in a drawer. He shook the bedding outside the window and then secured anything that looked lightweight and then created a whirlwind to take the dust away. The place still needed a good scrub, but they could at least sit at the table in front of the fire and have a talk. Merlin set up the fireplace, and then lit it with magic.

"I think the place is habitable," Merlin said, poking his head out the door.

"You've done wonders with the place," Arthur said. "Now, tell me about Mithian."

"Well, I helped her with her problems, and she told me she fell in love with me. And then I left. And now she's here," Merlin said.

"That much I could have figured out on my own," Arthur said dryly.

"Where is this sudden interest coming from, Arthur?" Merlin asked.

"You don't think I've a right to know who you are?" Arthur asked. "You always knew me better than anyone, and I would have said I knew you better than anyone else, too, except maybe Gaius. But the fact is I didn't know you at all."

"Of course you have a right to know the things I've done over the years. But you do know me, better than anyone. Better than Gaius," Merlin said.

"I don't believe that," Arthur said, shaking his head.

Merlin paused. "How about I tell you everything, from the beginning? If you know how it happened that I found out it was my destiny to help you, and why I made the choices I made, perhaps you will understand."

"Or maybe you just don't want to tell me about Mithian," Arthur said.

Merlin ignored him. "It all started with the dragon's call."


	7. Chapter 7

Morgana smoothed out her dress and practiced her most demure look in the looking glass. She had tried demure as a young girl, but it had never really suited her colouring. She looked better in bold crimson than pale pink.

Lords Thano and Buri, the king's regents and uncles (and also cousins, which obscurely made Morgana feel slightly less disturbed about her former romantic designs on her own brother) had asked to dine with her that night. She could work her wiles on them, and if need be, bolster her formidable charms with a few discrete spells. Apparently Merlin had been performing magic right under everyone's noise for years, so why shouldn't she?

She assumed their wives would be present—but wives were really no obstacle. They always had the same imbecilic ideas about honour and justice as their husbands, and would encourage their husbands to help her out—if only to rid the kingdom of someone as beautiful as she was.

And she looked very beautiful tonight. She had borrowed a white dress from one of the regent's wives—she frankly hadn't bothered to learn their names—but the dress fit rather well, as it should. She had been ensconced with a seamstress all afternoon.

Morgana inwardly winced at the wasted time. Were these royals so sensitive they couldn't eat a meal with a woman who wasn't dressed as richly as they were? But no—they had been all consideration, and a normal noblewoman would have not felt herself without a bath and clean well-fitting attire.

Her hair was dressed in a rather young style that she had not worn in years—more to get the wives on her side than anything. If she acted younger than she was, she might get more sympathy.

A servant entered the room to guide Morgana to the dinner. She followed with slow, hesitant and wary steps. She knew that servants were likely spies for their masters. Gwen had always told her if she had seen a guest do something odd, and Merlin was certainly proof that some servants hid great gifts.

She must always be on her guard, until she had achieved her goal.

Her most demure smile was almost hid under her lowered head. Although the woman whose identity she had assumed was from a family of high standing, and used to greeting royalty, Morgana had made little Gena seem quite in awe of Nemeth, and the regents who ran it.

"There you are," one of the wives said, rising and taking Morgana's hands in her own. "My dress looks very lovely on you, Gena. We shall have to get you some other garments."

"Oh, please, you mustn't go to any trouble over me," Morgana said, trying to imagine what Gwen would say. "I am so very grateful to have found refuge, but I must return to my land. I need to go to Camelot, and report these foul deeds to King Arthur. If you could just entrust me with a horse, and perhaps a few guards to keep me safe—"

"My dear, I know you are anxious to return to your home and make sure your family is safe. But nothing further can be done today. Try to eat something," the other wife said.

Morgana really should have paid closer attention to their names.

Lord Buri looked at Morgana with sympathy. "I did hope we could learn a bit more about the nature of the attack on your home, that is, if you are feeling up to talking about it."

Morgana smiled tremulously, trying to look frightened at the thought of even speaking of the attack. She took a deep breath and began to speak, haltingly at first. "My-my younger brother has never felt a part of our family. He was the child of a second wife. H-he—oh, it's just too distressing," she broke off, allowing her eyes to fill with tears.

"Don't ask the poor child to go on, she's distraught," one of the women said.

"No," Morgana said, bravely through her tears. "I must. My younger brother Michael always felt he should be the heir, and he killed my eldest brother. It w-was s-so horrible, to find him so grey and l-l-lifeless."

"We know all about brothers killing each other to inherit," said Lord Thanos.

Morgana nodded. "I heard about your recent tragedy. My deepest condolences," she said.

"It means much that you would think of us, in this, your darkest hour," Lord Thanos replied.

"You've b-been so kind to me," Morgana said. She was lucky to have the skill of crying quite beautifully, or else the overall effect of her performance would have suffered. She knew tears only made her eyes brighter.

"What happened once your brother's body was found?" Lord Buri asked.

"We all knew who had k-killed him. He could barely contain his glee," Morgana said. She dried her eyes, making the quick decision that she had cried enough tears. She didn't want to cry constantly and become tiresome. "Somebody must have told Michael about our suspicions, or he had someone listening at the door. My sister and I had decided to send a trusted servant to King Arthur for help. When we awoke the next morning, the servant's head was on a pike in the courtyard."

"How dreadful," one of the women said.

"He confronted us in the great hall. My sister ran at him, attacking him in an effort to save me, and bid me run. I ran for I know not how long. I saw few people along the way, and I was too frightened to ask for directions in case they were bandits, or worse, looking for me. Before I knew what I had done, I had walked all the way across the border. I confess I did not mean to run this way; I meant to go to Camelot, however, had I known how kind you would have been, I might have set out this way on purpose."

"I suppose then you might have ended up in Camelot," Lord Thanos observed, and the woman sitting next to him, presumably his wife, glared at him in response.

Morgana was alarmed that he felt like making jokes about her situation. She rehearsed the spell she planned to use in her mind, hoping she didn't have to use it. She was an excellent liar, but she had very little experience preforming spells in front of people without anyone knowing about it. She had been far too afraid to do much magic in Camelot, and, since she had left there, had felt no need to hide what she was.

She was also quite aware that there was frequently someone looking at her at any given moment.

She tended to draw the eye.

"But I am glad you did not," he continued. "For now we have the chance to show you the true strength of Nemeth's army. You will not leave here with a few guards and run to King Arthur for help. We will storm your keep and ensure that this Michael follows his brother into the grave. Why, he might have killed you."

"I could not ask you to," she said, rather firmly for Gena. Her affection for her new friends, of course, was preventing her from taking their help.

"You did not ask, and there is no need for you to. It is our duty to help those who cannot help themselves," Lord Buri said.

Morgana felt tears in her eyes, possibly from the effort of repressing laugher. She smiled warmly, making them seem like tears of gratitude. "Never has Camelot had a truer friend," she said, drying her eyes with a handkerchief.

Later, in her room, when all the attendants had gone, she looked at herself in the looking glass again, amazed at the stupidity of her hosts. Well, she'd certainly seen Uther fall for the helpless woman act enough times.

She smiled smugly.

There had been no need to use any magic at all.


	8. Chapter 8

Mithian looked out the window of her room, spying Merlin walking beside Gaius, carrying a heavy bag for him. He really was a natural gentleman.

She was a little embarrassed about the way she had greeted him. Princesses were not supposed to throw themselves into the arms of men they weren't engaged to. It had felt good to have his arms around her, though.

Her hopes for the visit, such as they were, had been thwarted. She had hoped that either Merlin would have a change of heart and that absence would make his heart grow fonder—or that she would see him again and he would once again be the awkward, cranky servant she remembered meeting on her first visit, and that her love would disappear like morning mist. Neither seemed to have happened. Her love still beat as fiercely as her heart in her breast, and his feelings seemed decidedly lukewarm.

Mithian had been hiding in her room for most of the morning. She had broken her fast with the royal party, and made sure Donal was happily engaged in an activity with Gwen. Many of the knights had offered to keep her entertained through various means, but, not seeing Merlin, she had declined all offers and returned to her room.

She was tidying a little obsessively; rearranging her belongings every few minutes. Her maid had thought her mad. She'd had to send her away.

Why did she have to feel this way about Merlin?

Why did she only seem to give her heart to men who could never love her back?

She looked up suddenly at a knock on her door.

"Mithian?" Merlin asked through the door.

Mithian braced herself to look normal—unaffected—calm—as she opened the door. "Merlin!" she greeted, smiling perhaps a shade too widely.

"Hello Princess," Merlin said, smiling a little too widely himself. Mithian felt herself blush under his appreciative regard.

"Come in, please," she said.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing. How are you, Mithian?" he asked.

Mithian looked at the door awkwardly. Should she close it? No. But keeping it open would make Merlin think she thought he wanted to kiss her, and that she didn't want to kiss him. No he wouldn't. It was only proper to keep the door open. If he was any other man the door would stay open. She shook herself slightly and invited Merlin to sit on the comfortable chairs by the fire, and he sat down in the chair opposite the one she took.

"When you left, things returned to normal—well, as normal as things can be when your father has been murdered and you've just acquired a new grown brother with a family," Mithian said.

"And a ten year old has been made king," Merlin added.

"He's surprisingly good at the job—and the regents have made the transition easier," Mithian said.

"And, well, I know you had little time to grieve when I was with you in Nemeth. I hope you have been able to say goodbye to your father," Merlin said.

Mithian looked at her lap, trying to fight tears. Surely this insight proved he cared for her? He was the only one who'd asked her about her grief. She tried not to read too much into it. "I finally felt like I could let him go just a few weeks ago. I felt so close to him, as if he were with me all the time, and then, one day, out on a hunt in the summer sun, the feeling of oppressive grief simply vanished and was replaced by love for the man who was, and gratitude for the time we had together. I suppose all grief fades with time. I still wish my father's death had not been so ugly and tragic."

She looked up and saw sympathy in Merlin's eyes. "Your father is at peace. He would be glad to know that you have let him go."

Mithians thoughts rebelled against the idea that Merlin had actually gone into the land of the dead and spoken to her father, and could actually say such a thing, not as a platitude, but as a fact. She pushed the thought away. "And it looks as though you have moved on, too. You and Arthur seem much less at odds then you did before."

Merlin grimaced. "It does seem that way, but I don't know how long that will last. There are still things I haven't told him—things he might never forgive me for."

"He's let you back in. You two were so close—as close as two friends could be—he will not be able to shut you out for long," she said. She couldn't resist putting a comforting hand on his arm, for which he seemed grateful.

"So Gwen says. So Gwaine says. But the whole kingdom is so against magic. Even my closest friends refuse to look me in the eye when I perform any kind of spell. Gaius is the only one who isn't frightened of me," Merlin said.

"With time they will see that you can be trusted. I know you've served the kingdom for years, but they didn't know you were using magic then. They'll have to learn to trust you as they see you now, not as they saw you then. That gangly boy no longer exists for them," Mithian said.

"Gangly?" Merlin asked, pretending to be offended. Mithian's heart started beating faster. First they exchanged confidences, and now Merlin's tone was decidedly flirty. _Don't read too much into it_, she told herself again, taking her hand off his arm.

"Wiry," she amended, smiling.

"Sleek like a cat," Merlin added with a goofy grin.

"I've missed you," Mithian said, cursing inwardly at her inability to prevent the words from spilling out. She was going to ruin this easy rapport.

Merlin looked at her with an intensity that surprised and thrilled her. "I've missed you, too. I didn't realize how much until—well, it's been, oh, forever since I've talked to anyone like this. Sometimes I feel like I've never been honest with anyone in my life."

"If you let me, I could be the one person you never have to hide anything from," Mithian said.

"I would like that," Merlin said. "You must do the same with me."

"I already do," Mithian said. She hesitated for a moment, and then reached out her hand. Merlin took it without hesitation, and then lowered his face and kissed her palm.

A small sigh of pleasure escaped her lips at this gesture of affection. Perhaps he wasn't down on one knee proposing, but he was moving forward. He was moving slowly—because he'd loved before, and lost. He was going to be cautious.

But for the first time, Mithian felt hope, and it warmed her to her toes.


	9. Chapter 9

Merlin sighed, looking across the table at the place where Arthur had sat and listened to Merlin's tale the previous day. He hadn't really gotten all that far, only to the events at the labyrinth of Gedref, and he dreaded going any further. His actions had been relatively straightforward and unambiguous up until that point, and Arthur had been amazed and even appreciative—especially when he realized the blue light that had guided him from the caves when Nimueh had left him to die had been sent by an unconscious Merlin.

Arthur was beginning to look at him with something almost like hero worship-but Merlin couldn't allow himself to be pleased. Duties had taken Arthur back to the main part of the castle, and Merlin had had to end his tale less than a year in. He wondered what Arthur would think of him when he knew everything.

He knew he wouldn't think of him as a hero, that's for sure.

Heroes were like Arthur-brave, and strong, and true hearted. They did the right thing, no matter what, and what's more, they were open and up-front about it. They did not sneak, and snoop, and lie, and poison. Perhaps it was Merlin's ability to do what was necessary regardless of how he felt about it that had allowed Arthur to remain a hero, without tarnishing his morals with the really tough choices. Merlin had dirtied his hands so that Arthur wouldn't have to. Merlin didn't blame Arthur for it, but he hoped that Arthur wouldn't hate him for the choices he had made.

Merlin sighed and picked up the bucket of dirty water and rag that he had just used to scrub out the tower room, considering pouring the water out the window for a moment. A tower may seem very mysterious and magical, but after scrubbing it all morning, he'd decided it wasn't very practical. It would be a devil of a journey with a full chamber pot—although Merlin had to wonder, was he supposed to be waited on by servants? What exactly was his status in the castle?

And when exactly did he get paid?

Arthur had never been a terribly good employer–and Merlin had never been a model employee–but their professional relationship was now strained and confusing, although Merlin sensed that Arthur's feelings of friendship had not changed, despite what he said. It was almost as though Arthur wouldn't let himself enjoy Merlin's company, or let himself do what he wanted in regards to Merlin.

He supposed kings had to do things they didn't want to do all the time–Merlin just wished that he could be confident that Arthur was pulling away from him for his own reasons, not Uther's reasons.

Merlin wondered if Arthur's opinion of Uther had changed when he had heard the truth about Nimeuh and Uther's deal. He had said nothing—but he must feel something about it. Was he angry that Merlin had stopped him from killing his own father?

"Merlin, you'd better come to the throne room."

It was Sir Leon at the door.

"Has my presence been requested?" Merlin asked. He was careful about such things, now.

"Yes, by me," Leon said, grabbing Merlin's arm and pulling him towards the stairs. "I have seen you have a calming influence before–you can talk sense into Arthur."

"What exactly is going on?" Merlin asked, hurrying to keep up with Leon as they walked through the corridors.

"Danson Keep has been invaded and taken over by soldiers from Nemeth," Leon said. "A farmer just arrived with his horse all in a lather to report it."

"That makes no sense at all," said Merlin. "Nemeth is at best only equal in strength to Camelot, and their king is here at the castle. Why would they do it?"

"Perhaps they feel the king you chose for them is disposable," Leon said.

"But why take Danson? It would be easier to simply kill the boy on the road," Merlin said.

"They might fear your reaction if Donal is obviously murdered," Leon said.

"So you think they would invade a country just so Arthur would kill the king? They would have no way of knowing that killing Donal would be Arthur's reaction; invasion still makes no sense. At least Donal clearly had nothing to do with it. What was Arthur's reaction?" Merlin asked.

"He's put the entire Nemeth party in the dungeons," Leon said.

"He's Uther all over again," Merlin muttered, feeling a stab of worry for Mithian that he didn't want to examine too closely. Leon looked over at him sharply, and some part of Merlin was aware he probably shouldn't criticize Arthur in front of Leon. Leon was a loyal servant to Arthur, and had certain views about anyone saying anything against his king.

Merlin was shocked at what he saw in the throne room. All of the knights and councillors were speaking loudly about their plans for war, and Arthur was nodding his head, listening seriously to something that Percival was saying. It seemed everyone was determined to go and fight. Merlin heard not one dissenting voice.

Merlin approached Arthur.

"Good, you're here," Arthur said. "You'll be responsible for fire. Can you lob some fire balls up at the walls of the keep?"

Merlin looked at Arthur for a moment before he spoke. He wished there weren't quite so many people nearby to hear him, but it had to be said. "I can, but I won't."

"What?" Arthur asked. "I thought you wanted to help the kingdom and be the resident sorcerer. Well, as king, I command you."

Merlin looked around; he noticed nearly half of the knights in the room had heard Arthur and were listening for his reply. "I've agreed to use my magic to keep you and this kingdom safe, but do not make the mistake of thinking you can _command_ me to do anything!"

"Why would you refuse? Nemeth has obviously used this visit to distract us while they invaded our territory," Arthur said.

"There's nothing obvious about it. If King Donal had anything to do with this, he would not have put himself in your power. You should at least let_ him_ go. Besides, what exactly is the strategic advantage of taking Danson Keep? Why would they want it?"

"They want it because it is ours. I made the mistake of conceding some territory to them to smooth over the Mithian debacle, and they see us as weak, now. They'll take whatever territory they can, and if we don't take it back, we'll lose it forever," Arthur said. "You _know_ you have divided loyalties on this. You like Donal and Mithian and the whole family, and you don't want to think that they could be behind some plot to threaten Camelot. You are prejudiced in their favour and therefore I shouldn't listen to you at all in this matter."

"If I could choose just one way for you to be different from your father, Arthur, it would not be for you to be open to magic. It would be that you take the time to listen to people who disagree with you. Remember the round table? Everyone equal to everyone else? Your father would never listen to a dissenting voice, not even yours, and we saw the effects of that time and time again. Will you not take a moment to listen to me, and try to be a better man than your father?" Merlin said.

"How can you possibly think insulting my father is the best way to get me to do something?"

"I mean no insult Arthur, but no man is perfect, not even a king. Not even your father. You know he never listened to anybody when he had his mind set on something."

Arthur looked around, seeming to notice for the first time that they were surrounded by knights and councillors who were listening to every word they said. "I'm confused, here, Merlin. I don't even know what you want me to do, anymore. Let the Nemeth party go? Concede the territory? Send the army a welcome basket?"

"I only want you to let me go see what they mean by taking Danson. I mean, what exactly could they hope to accomplish? The land is rocky and wild and unfit for farming, and they don't have the army to fight you and win. I know they don't—and they know it too. Why do you think they wanted that alliance with you, anyway? It was to keep _you_ from invading. Do you think I really went to their kingdom without nosing around a little?"

Arthur looked taken aback. "Well, yes, actually I did."

"And another thing," Merlin said. He looked around the room at the rest of the men and raised his voice to address the room. "I can't really blame King Arthur for not listening when no one will speak out! I bet at least half of you had your doubts about this, and yet said nothing. You must be either idiots or cowards. You're all more willing to fight an unjust war than to speak up against your king? _That has to change_. Arthur is not the type of king to throw you in the dungeons if you don't happen to share his opinion. Sir Leon was the only person willing to take action, even if it_ was_ only to fetch me."

"I don't think it's really your place to chastise anyone," Arthur said. "You might not even be right about there being more to this invasion. It could be just exactly what it looks like."

"Shall I go and see?" Merlin asked.

"Alright," Arthur said.

And then Merlin did something he'd wanted to do since he first saw someone do it.

He disappeared into a whirlwind.


	10. Chapter 10

Arthur looked around at his councillors and knights sitting on either side of the long table, trying not to look as though he'd just been told off by a scrawny former servant. The rest of the men in the room looked at each other sheepishly, like small boys who had just been scolded.

"I suppose we just have to wait now," Elyan said.

"I think we should talk to Mithian about Danson Keep, and see if she knows anything," said Arthur.

"But she's not really an official member of the government," Elyan said. "Would she know anything?"

"Well, I'm inclined to agree with Merlin that Donal's immediate family would likely have had nothing to do with this—after all, they just went from renting a small farm to a owning a kingdom. You'd think they'd be satisfied for a few years, at least. And I refuse to interrogate a ten year old boy. Mithian is the only option," Arthur said.

"Do you think, Sire—" Leon began, and then appeared to lose his nerve. Apparently Merlin had been right and the knights did not feel comfortable arguing with him, at least here at court. They seemed to be quite fine with arguing with him on hunting trips and other adventures.

"Well, out with it," Arthur said. "You may speak your mind."

"Perhaps leaving the ten year old king in the dungeons is not, entirely, well, advisable," he said. "I mean, he will grow up sometime…"

"Very well, release them all under guard and ask Mithian to join us here," Arthur said.

Arthur sent a servant to fetch Gwen, realizing that he had now engaged Mithian's affections, dropped her, essentially refused to help her when her father died, and thrown her in a dungeon. If he wasn't at war with Nemeth already, he might well be soon. Gwen might be able to smooth things over…thinking about who else might be able to make his actions seem reasonable, he sent for Gaius as well.

Gwen entered the room and Arthur moved to join her, but was interrupted by Geoffrey.

"Sire, I do not think it proper that you allow that-that sorcerer to speak to you or any of us like that. You do not want people to think that you take orders from him, do you?" Geoffrey said.

Arthur looked around him, wishing he could just keep walking past him to his wife. He sighed and looked at Geoffrey. "If he'd been telling me to empty the armory or reorder the social system, perhaps I'd agree with you. However, all he really told me to do was to listen to my councillors. You're one of the councillors. Why would you object to having more input?"

"Well, it was more the manner of his advice, Sire," Geoffrey said.

"I think if I can forgive him for his manners the rest of you can," Arthur said. "If you'll excuse me…"

Arthur made his way to Gwen. "I think I've really messed up our relationship with Nemeth now. They'll never forgive me."

"I don't know, Arthur," Gwen said. "Donal is a little boy. Being thrown in a dungeon, especially if it is only temporary, is the secret hope of little boys everywhere. Didn't you tell me you used to constantly try to play down there?"

"Whenever I could get away with it," Arthur said.

Mithian entered the room with Donal and several guards. Mithian said nothing, only looked indignant. Arthur was immensely glad he hadn't married her. He had a feeling if he had he would have faced that look a lot.

"I'm very sorry for my rash actions. We've sent our court sorcerer to see what is happening in Keep Danson, and we will reserve judgment until he returns," Arthur said.

"For goodness sake, Arthur, if we knew about this, why would we have agreed to come? Being thrown in a dungeon is not my idea of a good time," Mithian said.

"It's not the _worst_ way to pass a few hours," murmured Donal. "But the provided lunch left something to be desired."

"I'll send for some food," Gwen asked, rising and speaking to a servant.

"Arthur, whatever you decide to do to my regents, I want to be involved in the decision," Donal said.

"I can't take you to the keep. You're not a trained knight. I should not place you in such danger," Arthur said.

"They're _my_ regents, and they might have started a war! Besides that, they could have gotten me killed. I deserve to be there," Donal said.

"Merlin will protect us," Mithian said.

"I don't see why you need to go as well," Arthur said.

"You owe me, Arthur. Do this one favour for me. I want to see this through as much as Donal. Besides, his parents want me to look out for him. Strangely enough, they no longer trust _you_."

"I'm sure Merlin can protect them," Gwen said.

"There's good news and bad news," Merlin said, walking into the room.

"You've gone and came back already?" Arthur said in disbelief.

"Yes. Glad to see you've let our friends out of the dungeon," Merlin said.

"What is happening at Danson?" Arthur asked.

"I snuck around a bit, and from what I could gather, the Nemeth force has no intentions of invading Camelot. In fact, they fully expect to be welcomed with open arms," Merlin said.

"Why would we do that?"

"Because Morgana has been impersonating the Keep's daughter—she gave them some sob story about one of her brothers murdering the other brother and killing her sister and mother. Apparently none of the siblings even existed, and the mother died years ago, but she and Lord Thano have got the lord of the Keep in the dungeon for killing them. She said she meant to run to Camelot for your help, but got lost, and went to Nemeth instead," Merlin said.

"I can't imagine Morgana getting lost," Arthur said. "Wait a moment, how did you know it's her? Did you see her? Has she told them who she truly is?"

"No, I saw one of the soldiers I knew from my visit to Nemeth, and asked him about her. He said she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, with dark hair and pale skin," Merlin said. "I summoned Morgana's image in a pail of water and he told me that was the woman they had agreed to help."

"This woman—it's Arthur's half-sister, the sorceress?" Mithian asked.

"Actually she's a witch, and a high priestess of the old religion," Gaius said. "She is no one to be trifled with. You and the boy should remain here where you will be safe."

"Merlin can protect us," Mithian said.

"Actually, I don't know if I can," Merlin said. "I've fought with Morgana before, and we are very evenly matched. I nearly died. That day I was not spending part of my energy protecting someone else, but I this time I must protect Arthur. She'll kill both Arthur and I if she has the chance. I can't promise that I can protect two other people. I won't," Merlin said.

"We have the right to go," Donal said.

"Then you go without my protection," Merlin said, looking at Donal levelly.

Donal took a moment, and then spoke. "I would be a danger to everyone if I go. Because of my age it is obvious who I am. I see that now. If you would please let my aunt go in my place, Arthur—she can stay well back. She could go to tend to the wounded—no one needs to know who she is. I trust her to speak up if something is happening counter to the interests of my kingdom."

"I promise you, I will do my best to resolve this situation without bloodshed," Arthur said.

"Thank you," King Donal said.

"Now all you have to do is decide how you want to resolve it," Merlin said.

"What do you mean?" Arthur said. "We just ride up and tell them they're being deceived."

"But what if she's put the regents under a spell?" Gwen asked. "They may not just give in, even if they had no intention of fighting you when they set out."

"Also, Sire, I worry about the strategic importance of Danson Keep," Gaius said.

"Merlin seems to think it _hasn't_ any strategic importance," Arthur said.

"Exactly. We know that Morgana is a keen strategist who was trained by Morgause, who was a genius in matters of warfare. Why take an unimportant keep? When Morgause and Cenred invaded, they attacked on two fronts—from outside the castle walls, and from inside the castle walls. What if this time Morgana means to split your forces, and attack the castle while you are in the far corner of the Kingdom?"

"But who would she have convinced to join her?" Arthur asked.

"That, I cannot say," Gaius said.

"I could probably find a way to look over the kingdom to see if there's an army massing," Merlin said.

"The dragon?" Mithian asked.

"Please tell me I don't have to worry about a dragon on top of everything else," Arthur said. Mithians eyes widened and she looked at Merlin apologetically. Arthur looked at Merlin. "What am I missing?"

"I was going to tell you," Merlin said. "I'm…a dragonlord."

"A dragonlord? So Balinor—"

"Was my father," Merlin finished.

"Oh. So when you say you have a way to look over the kingdom—"

"I was going to ride the dragon," Merlin finished.

"Oh," Arthur said.

"Yeah," Merlin agreed.

"The same one that attacked Camelot?" Arthur asked. "You said I killed him. You liar!"

"Well, yeah," Merlin said. "I sort of, commanded him not to attack Camelot anymore. But I had to tell you something, and you had already stabbed him with that lance."

"So you trust that evil dragon not to dump you onto the ground?" Arthur asked.

"A dragon must obey a dragonlord," Gaius said.

"So you could command a dragon to destroy our enemies?" Arthur asked.

"Well, yes, but I would hesitate to use him that way. I mean, it's not really fair, is it? I mean, if Camelot was about to fall, I would call Kilgharrah. But it would always be a last resort. You saw the devastation an attack by him can cause. He attacks indiscriminately—he sees no difference between killing innocents and combatants. I would not do that to my worst enemy, without a proper cause."

Arthur looked at Merlin as if he was just seeing him for the first time. Just a day before he had been worried about one man having both Merlin's magic, and his influence with a king. Now he learned that Merlin could command a dragon? A dragon. A dragon could turn the course of a war. It could enslave a nation. And yet Merlin seemed to see that that power was frightening and awe inspiring.

Arthur fought laughter—thinking that now Geoffrey of Monmouth might not find him so uppity. It's hard to be offended at anything said by someone who can call a dragon to defend himself.

"I can't think about this right now," he said aloud. "Merlin, survey the territory and join us on the road when you are finished. I will take a small force and head towards Danson Keep. Sir Leon, the castle is yours to defend."

"Bring a horse for me and I will catch up to you this evening," Merlin said.


	11. Chapter 11

Merlin had not been able to find any sign of an approaching army. He had Kilgarrah drop him near to where Arthur's party was camped, about a morning's ride away from the Keep.

Merlin walked into the camp through a break in the trees and was challenged by Gwaine.

"Just me," Merlin said, raising his hands.

"Did you see an army?" Gwaine asked.

"No, nothing," Merlin said.

"That's good news."

"Is it?" Merlin asked. "I mean, if we knew there was an army, at least we'd know what Morgana was planning. Now we're running blind."

"Hey, you think that dragon would let me ride him?" Gwaine asked.

"He's not a horse, as he is fond of telling me," Merlin said. "Is Arthur still awake?"

"You can check for yourself. He's over there by the far fire," Gwaine said.

Merlin approached the fire, and found Arthur still awake as he often was on such missions. Merlin knew he often stayed awake simply because he was too worried to sleep. Being king and commander was a lot of responsibility. Merlin had always made sure to stay up as long as his friend did, because he knew how lonely Arthur found command.

"You're back," Arthur said.

"I'm sorry for not telling you sooner about being a dragonlord. I have tried to tell you everything, you know. It can't have looked good to your councillors that Mithian knew about that before you did," Merlin said.

"I think you having a dragon at your command leaves you somewhat beyond having to worry about what the councillors say," Arthur said. "You're a special case now. Above the law, you might say."

"You know I would never use any of my powers against the kingdom," Merlin said.

Arthur looked him in the eye. "I know that. I trust you—I can't afford to do anything _but_ trust you. For one thing, I could not defeat both Morgana and a force from Nemeth without your help."

"No army to be seen, by the way," Merlin said.

Arthur stared moodily into the fire, and Merlin sat down beside him. "I almost wish there was. What do you think she's planning? She could let loose a beast in the streets, poison the well, use a spell…the possibilities are endless. She has no need to use an army to bring the kingdom to its knees, especially not if she somehow paralyzes our leadership."

"You think she's going to try to kill you?" Merlin said.

Arthur made no reply, but his glance implied that she _always_ wanted to kill him. "Do you think she'll ever stop?"

Merlin hesitated. Had foreknowledge helped him any? Not really. But Arthur had a right to know that he would probably have to fight her for as long as he remained king and she remained alive.

"She won't stop until one of you is dead," Merlin said.

Arthur sighed and picked up a stick and began to poke the fire. "Sometimes I wonder if I want the kingdom badly enough to fight her for it. It would be wonderful to just live somewhere safe, in a little cottage…"

"If it was just you, and just wealth, I would agree with you. But the people of Camelot are depending on you to protect them from people like her. She enjoys seeing others in pain. She's quite mad, I think," Merlin said.

"Of course you're right," Arthur said, but he didn't look awfully convinced.

"And I will be right there to protect you," Merlin said. "And maybe one day I will kill her. She did say once that I was her doom."

"Do you think you could kill her?" Arthur asked. "She was your good friend. I even thought you were in love with her at one time."

"I thought because we both had magic, that we were alike. I was wrong. We're nothing alike. I know I probably couldn't kill her in cold blood, with no crisis spurring me on—but then, maybe I could. I have come very close several times," Merlin said.

"Parts of the story I haven't heard yet?" Arthur guessed.

"Yes," Merlin said.

"Don't ruin it. I want to hear everything in order when all of this is over," Arthur said.

Merlin smiled. Arthur had certainly changed since he had first met him. Or maybe he had lost the ability to be surprised by anything he learned about Merlin—after all, it had been one shock after another for months.

Merlin caught Arthur's eye and held it. "If I had the chance tomorrow, to do it, to kill her, would you want me to do it?"

"Is there any way you could imprison her? I would like her to stand trial for the things she's done. I want people to know that it wasn't the magic, but what she chose to do with it that led to her being executed," Arthur said.

"Do you want to change the laws about magic?" Merlin asked, hopeful for the first time. It was almost too much to believe, but tonight Arthur was so unguarded—almost like he'd been before he had learned who Merlin really was. He'd even said that he trusted Merlin, which Merlin had never thought he'd ever hear Arthur say again.

"One day, I would like to. I am glad you stopped me from killing my father, but it does make a difference that he knew the deal he was making. He must have felt so guilty for sacrificing his wife…and he blamed Nimueh for his decision, and through her, everyone else with magic," Arthur said.

"I've often thought, Arthur, that your father was broken—mad, even—long before Morgana's betrayal. He could not face what he had done, so he looked at the world in a different way, a way that made him seem faultless," Merlin said.

"And if a king looks at the world differently, then the world becomes a different place," Arthur said.

"The priestesses of the old religion are not necessarily innocent in all this. They demand sacrifices when there is no need for them, and spin deals around to suit themselves," Merlin said.

"I would never sacrifice Gwen for a child," Arthur said.

"There is always a chance, when a woman bears a child, that she will not survive," Merlin sad.

"It doesn't make what my father did any better," Arthur said.

"I'm sorry I lied to you about something that meant so much to you," Merlin said softly.

"Well, I'm sorry that I told you your father was not worth your tears," Arthur said.

"You weren't to know," Merlin said.

"I'm glad you wouldn't let me execute you," Arthur said. "I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. Perhaps my guilt would have fueled a second great purge."

Merlin smiled, grateful that Arthur was being so honest, and seeing the world, and his father, so clearly. "I will see what I can do about finding a spell to imprison Morgana. I know of one—but it would have to be short term imprisonment, because I would have to be touching her the entire time, and that's not something I plan to do indefinitely."

"How long do you think you could stand that?" Arthur asked.

"Without killing her?" Merlin asked. "Not long. A few days, maybe."

"Enough for us to transport her to Camelot and decide what to do with her, then," Arthur asked.

"Yes, but, what if that's what she wants?" Merlin asked. "What if being imprisoned and taken to Camelot is what she wants?"

"Will you just go to sleep? You're starting to make my head hurt," Arthur said.

"I could help you sleep, if you wanted," Merlin said hesitantly.

Arthur looked at Merlin warily. "How?"

"With just a single word," Merlin said.

"Well, that's handy," Arthur said.

"Would you like me to?"

"Yes please," Arthur said, lying down.

"_Mameran_," Merlin said.

And Arthur slept.


	12. Chapter 12

Arthur woke feeling refreshed, and almost felt that was wrong somehow. He had expected some kind of magic hangover—but he felt better than he'd ever felt before a battle or confrontation. His worries usually kept him up late and left him grumpy the next morning. He always worried about what would happen. Would anyone die? Would he make a mistake? He was a man who had made mistakes that had caused famine and war—he had to weigh his decisions very carefully.

He wondered if he'd made the right decision asking Merlin to capture Morgana if he could. Would that decision put Merlin in danger? Would it put all of Camelot in danger? In a way, he felt that since Morgana could not be reasoned with, and could not be stopped, her death was the only way to protect Camelot from her. And of course, she had to die for the harm she had caused. She had committed treason. It might be easier to have Merlin kill her if he had the chance; but maybe that was the coward's way out. Maybe he only felt that way because he didn't want to be the one to order her death.

That is, if Merlin could even contain her. That morning as they were packing up and getting ready to ride, Merlin had told Arthur that he had serious doubts as to whether he could really do it. Morgana may have come to magic later in life than Merlin, and Merlin was, by all accounts, the stronger of the two. But Morgana was a trained high priestess, and her every action was fueled by hatred, while Merlin's actions were generally tempered by compassion.

They approached the castle carefully, but there appeared to be no strict watch enforced, probably because they were not expecting to be attacked.

Arthur ordered his men to surround the Keep, but to kill no one. In less than an hour, the small Nemeth force had been neutralized.

Arthur, Merlin and Gwaine entered the Keep, and walked right into the great room. Morgana was there with Lord Thano, eating lunch.

"King Arthur," Lord Thano said, smiling. "I see you got our message."

"You have been deceived," said Arthur. He kept a careful eye on Merlin and Morgana, who were eyeing each other warily.

"Whatever you're planning Morgana, it won't work," Merlin said.

Lord Thano's face seemed to drain of blood. "Morgana?"

"Yes, I see you've met my half-sister," Arthur said.

"Well, if it isn't Arthur and his lap dog Merlin," Morgana smirked. "Or is it the other way around?"

Merlin said nothing, but thrust his hand into the air in her direction, and Morgana flew against the wall. Merlin ran to her and took his left hand in her right, then started wrapping leather around their clasped hands. He mumbled some words in an ancient tongue, and then his eyes glowed like fire.

Morgana began to come to, and then struggled against Merlin's grip, shouting in the old language—but no spell worked, and Morgana began to panic.

"Merlin, why am I tied to you? What are you doing? Why can't I do magic?"

"Arthur wanted you captured alive. I've bound your magic to me. You can't do any magic unless I allow it, and I will not allow it," Merlin said.

"Merlin, he's going to kill me! How can you let this happen? How can you do this to me?" she said.

"Do you need her conscious?" Merlin asked.

"No," Arthur said.

"_Mameran_," Merlin said, and she slumped against him, asleep. He mumbled something else, and then gathered her in his arms and picked her up, walking over to a seat and sitting down with Morgana on his lap.

"Are you really that strong?" Arthur asked.

"If I did a spell to make myself stronger or her lighter, do you think I'd really admit to it?" Merlin said, grinning. "The containment spell seems to have worked so far. There's no way I can use magic to get back to Camelot, though, and we're too cumbersome for a horse. Do you think we could find a cart?"

"We brought a cart in case there were wounded," Gwaine said. "I can take you to it."

"Can the two of you sort this out without me?" Merlin asked, but he was looking at Arthur.

"I can handle this," Arthur said. "If you see Mithian, can you have her brought in here?"

Merlin nodded and picked Morgana up and walked out of the room with Gwaine.

Arthur looked at the regent. "Your king is not happy with you."

Despite the fact that the boy was only ten years old, Lord Thano looked dismayed at the idea of the child being angry with him. "I did not know. She told us she was in trouble. We thought we were doing what you would have wanted us to."

Arthur narrowed his eyes. "You know, there's a reason for borders. I am supposed to be the law on my side of the border, and you are the law on your side. It's when we cross over the border and start meddling in each other's business that the trouble starts."

"I see that know," Thano said. "Believe me. Mithian, you must plead my case with Donal. Neither of us meant any harm."

Arthur looked behind him to see that Mithian had entered the room. She looked at Thano sternly, and Arthur was again glad he had not married her. Thano seemed to become slightly smaller under her regard. "And yet, your actions resulted in Donal and I getting locked in the dungeon. If cooler heads hadn't prevailed, we could have been killed. Arthur could have invaded our country in retaliation for your actions. He still could!"

"Please, King Arthur, I know this is a horrible breach of protocol. I don't know what came over me. I never would have normally done it. She must have used magic on me," he said.

Arthur looked at Mithian. "It is possible she did use magic. However, if that is the case, I don't know why he isn't attacking us or something."

"We'll have to ask Merlin, or I suppose we could ask Morgana herself," Mithian said.

"No, Mithian, stay away from her. She's dangerous. Even without magic, she's one of the most dangerous women I've ever met," Arthur said.

"I suppose we should take him back to Camelot, and then, if you will allow it, we will transport him back to Nemeth when we leave. Donal apparently has to find himself a new regent."

Arthur looked at Mithian. "I think he has. He allowed you to act for him today. I think I can see where this is going."

Mithian looked, for a moment, as brittle as glass, and then seemed to straighten her back. She looked at Arthur calmly. "It was what most of the councillors and lords wanted anyway—actually, most of them wanted me to be their queen."

"You would make a great queen," Arthur said.

"I will refuse to be a queen, but I suppose if I must, I could be a regent," she said.

Arthur did some mental calculations. "It will be ten years, tops. Maybe five. The boy already acts more like a king than I do."

"But what if there's some way to prove that she used magic on me? It wouldn't really be my fault, would it?" Lord Thano asked.

"I sincerely hope that you can prove some enchantment," Mithian said, "because I have no wish to replace you."

Arthur didn't envy her. It was a heavy responsibility to run a kingdom, and Arthur still chaffed against it even though he had known his whole life he would one day be king. To be thrust into such a job without any prior warning would be terrible. And she was a woman, too, so neighbouring kings and bandits and warlords would probably think she was weak, and test her kingdom because of her sex.

And she was in love, too, with Merlin. She wouldn't be able to be with him, now, whether Merlin loved her or not. He was loyal to Arthur and their shared destiny, and Mithian was loyal to her own kingdom.

Arthur wondered if Merlin wouldn't be just a little pleased that Mithian was leaving. Although the man seemed to care for her a great deal, he seemed confused and alarmed by her feelings for him.

Arthur could understand how he felt. Love was frightening—the vulnerability, the dependence on another, the unbearable pain. He didn't understand why Merlin was so cautious, however; he would have thought that Merlin would have jumped in to first love with both feet. He was usually so openhearted.

Arthur walked into the courtyard, asking Elyan what damage the Keep had sustained.

"The Keep is not badly damaged, and Lord Michael appears to be recovered quite well from his injuries," Elyan said.

"Good work," Arthur said. "If we set out now, we can make it back to our camp by nightfall."

"But Sire—"

"Yes?"

"Aren't the soldiers from Nemeth joining us? Won't the amount of men slow us down?" Elyan asked.

"I hadn't thought of that. I confess I am eager to get home. Mithian has promised that she and all her people will leave the Kingdom if we collect their King from Camelot," Arthur said.

"Perhaps we should stay here tonight, and make sure we have enough supplies for everyone in the meantime," Elyan said.

"Do it," Arthur said.

Arthur thought about Merlin, trying to find a cart so that he and Morgana could be transported more quickly to Camelot. "Is Merlin looking for that cart?" Arthur said.

"I think he sent Gwaine to do it. Merlin's sitting over there in the shade," Elyan said.

"Send someone to tell Gwaine we won't need the cart today," Arthur said.

Elyan did as Arthur bid. They both looked over at Merlin and Morgana, sitting as close together as lovers. Morgana was still asleep, and her head rested on Merlin's shoulder. They looked as small and normal as any regular couple, sitting on the grass. It was hard to believe that between them they had so much power they could tear kingdoms apart.

"Do you think Merlin can keep her contained?" Elyan asked.

"I hope so," Arthur said. "Because the second she gets her power back, she's going to kill him, first, and then come after me."


	13. Chapter 13

Merlin grimaced, glaring at his and Morgana's joined hands.

This situation was humiliating, and faintly ridiculous. The only good thing about it was that Morgana was still currently unconscious.

Now Gwaine had broken the news to him that the party was going to wait until morning. That meant that he would have to spend at least two days and nights tied to a viper who wanted to kill him, and who, even without magic, could probably kill him with her bare hands.

He should have lied and told Arthur he knew of no spell he could use to imprison Morgana. This was too much to bear.

Merlin jumped as Morgana began to stir, but she snuggled back into sleep and he relaxed again. They were still sitting in the grass of the courtyard, waiting for a room to be made up for them. Actually, it was more like they were making the room down, as they were going through and taking away anything that Morgana could use as a weapon against him.

They were going to have to share a bed tonight, not that either of them would be able to sleep. Merlin would never relax his vigilance enough to sleep, and, even if Morgana could, she'd been asleep all afternoon.

Another thing that worried Merlin was bathroom breaks. He kind of had to pee right now. Morgana wasn't going to make such a task easy for him.

He examined the magical bond between them, seeing it in his mind's eye. It was effortless to maintain when they physically touched, but maybe it was possible to stretch it to allow them some distance from each other.

Merlin undid the leather straps that he had wrapped around their hands, and released Morgana's hand, flexing his own. He closed his eyes and confirmed that the bond was still there, but it needed his full attention to maintain. It was dangerous, but it would allow them to have pee breaks, at least. It was too tenuous to allow them to sleep away from each other, though, and if he wanted to be able to function at all with no sleep he would have to keep the physical bond as much as possible.

When he opened his eyes he saw Morgana glaring at him, and with Gwaine's help, managed to go to the privy and allow Morgana to do with same without compromising the spell. Gwaine ducked away as soon as he was no longer needed. Merlin supposed he was no one was going to want to speak to him now—except, and this was rather frightening—Morgana, apparently. She had been trying to engage him in small talk ever since she had awoken.

Morgana's behaviour was a bit worrying to Merlin, too—she closed her eyes with a blissful expression and smiled in the warm, autumnal sun and sighed with satisfaction, swinging their joined hands cheerfully.

"What are you so happy about?" Merlin asked.

"It's so rare to find a man who dotes on you so much he just wants to hold hands all day," Morgana smirked. They walked together to the great room where they had left Arthur.

"Just get those jokes out of your system now, Morgana, because we are going to be constant companions until we get to Camelot. Strange bedfellows indeed," Merlin muttered.

"You can't actually expect me to agree to sleep with you," Morgana said.

"You can lodge a formal complaint with Arthur if you like. There's no other way to contain you. I must be touching you to contain you, especially while I'm unconscious."

"That's patently ridiculous. Touching you may stop me from doing any magic, but I could just smother you with my pillow as you sleep," Morgana said.

Merlin sighed again. "I had thought of that. We will be watched by guards, as well."

"So I have to sleep in a room with you, _holding your hand_, with at least two guards watching?" Morgana shrieked.

"The shift will probably change at midnight, so it's more like four guards watching you sleep. And to think you could have just toddled off to another kingdom far away, landed some wealthy bloke, or let's face it, King, with your beauty and magic and, um, let's call them, charms, and never seen any of us ever again."

"Why should I have to start again? Camelot is mine," Morgana said.

"What exactly was your plan, anyway?" Merlin asked.

"You'll see," Morgana said.

"So it's not done yet. Your plan," Merlin prodded, trying to hide his surprise that she was telling him anything at all. She did seem to have a slight weakness for bragging about her plans.

"Well, you had to have known there's nothing worth taking in this dump of a Keep," Morgana said contemptuously. "I hope you have your best man guarding Camelot—not that you'll be able to get there in time."

"I can't get there, that's true. I can't use any spells to take me there while I am holding your magic back with my own. But I can find out what is happening," Merlin said. He hated to think of talking to Kilgharrah with Morgana tied to him—Kilgharrah would not only make fun of him for it, he might lose all respect for Merlin. If there was one thing the dragon despised, it was mercy towards enemies, especially Morgana. Worrying about that was a foolish reason not to talk to the dragon, though, and doing so might save lives.

He looked over at Morgana's knowing smirk. "No rider can get to Camelot and back here in time. And you knowing what's happening can't stop it. The people of Camelot will be crying in agony and filling the crypt before you can make your way back there," she said.

Merlin couldn't ever remember being so instantly angry in his entire life. She was so smug—about people, _her people_, suffering and dying. Without realizing his surroundings—he had entered the great room with Morgana—he stopped abruptly, purposefully jarring her shoulder. She turned around angrily to face him and he slapped her as hard as he could across the face.

Whatever she had been about to say died on her lips. She almost looked frightened at Merlin when he pointed his finger towards her face and said with contempt. "I can be in Camelot in an instant if you're dead, Morgana, so don't tempt me."

"Merlin!" Arthur called. Merlin looked around the room, seeing where they were for the first time.

Merlin sighed and forced himself to calm down, leading Morgana to chairs side by side at a long table in the great room, where they sat down. Merlin had since noticed that nearly anyone who mattered in the kingdom had just seen him slap Morgana. The room was still full of knights, and Arthur appeared to be calming Mithian down to one side of the room. She can't have liked to see him lose control and slap a woman like that, even Morgana.

"I'll get you for that," Morgana said, touching her cheek.

"You've already tried to kill me so many times, Morgana. One little slap shouldn't make you any more homicidal than you already are," Merlin said wearily.

"You forget, Merlin, I thought you were my friend once. _You_ betrayed _me_ first," Morgana said.

"You betrayed Camelot," Merlin said.

"Uther! I betrayed Uther, and he deserved it. He had already betrayed Camelot years before by polluting her with his disgusting purge. I remember watching the executions with you. I know how they affected you. I remember protecting the druid boy with you. You didn't believe magic was evil–and you had the best reason of all not to believe it. You are magic. Born with it, like me. How could you let Uther get away with it?" Morgana asked.

Merlin looked down at the table. He sensed that for once in her life, Morgana was asking an honest question with no agenda. She had to know by now that he would never join her, and she only wanted to know why. Merlin was well aware that, although their conversation was quiet, many people in the room were straining to hear. "Morgana, the magic we were born with was a gift. It was not given to us so we could enslave people and force them to believe what we believe. We're meant to help people. Uther was the King, right or wrong, and most people were happy with his rule. It was not my place to remove him from his position."

"Most people were happy with his rule because by the time we came of age, anyone who disagreed with him about magic had been killed–tortured and burned alive! When you found out I had a claim to the throne, you should have been on _my_ side, Merlin. I would have given you a place of honour in my kingdom, maybe even by my side. You'll never have that with Arthur. Arthur is just like my father. He won't return magic to the land. He is a king, not _your friend_. Kings can't afford the luxury of friends. He's only let you take this position in his court because he's discovered he can_ use_ you. He knows you'll do whatever he says without question so he's willing to let you fight his battles for him. But of course," she continued softly. "Of course you would find such an arrangement acceptable. You love Gaius, and he made that deal long ago. It's a coward's deal–to serve his enemy and save his own skin."

"That is not what's happening here, Morgana," Merlin said. He wanted to argue that that was not what Gaius had done, either, but he knew there was no point in even saying it. Morgana would never agree.

"Merlin!" Arthur interjected loudly.

"Yes?" Merlin replied.

"Just don't speak to her. She's obviously lying about everything. She doesn't know my mind anymore. Don't let her upset you," Arthur said.

Merlin wondered what expression had been on his face that had made Arthur come towards them and interfere. He hoped Arthur was right, and Morgana didn't know what she was talking about. He honestly couldn't pinpoint any part of what she had said that was a lie, though. Part of him had believed every word she had spoken. If he hadn't known about his and Arthur's shared destiny—about the future they would create together—he would have joined Morgana long ago. He was glad he hadn't, because she was ruthless and evil and he knew now why Kilgharrah had warned him so long ago that she had no one's best interests in mind but her own. If he had never met Kilgharrah, though, he was certain he would be on her side.

"Merlin knows I didn't lie about anything," Morgana said, not taking her eyes off Merlin's face.

"Merlin betrayed you first? Not likely," Arthur said.

"That's sweet, Merlin. You lie to the man for years and he still thinks you're incapable of betrayal. It might interest you to know, Arthur, that Merlin knew I had magic for years. He never betrayed me. He frequently lied to you and Uther to protect me. And he did betray me first, well, unless you don't consider dosing me with hemlock betrayal."

"You make it sound so sordid, Morgana, but I did it to save Uther's life, and probably Arthur's, too," Merlin said.

"You really knew Morgana had magic?" Arthur asked faintly.

"Neither you or your father would have ever believed me if I'd told you. I would have been thrown in jail for slander," Merlin said.

"Don't expect Arthur to make allowances for reality. It's his way or nothing, just like Uther," Morgana said bitterly.

Merlin looked at her, unexpectedly feeling more kinship with her at that moment than with Arthur. He smiled briefly. "He has to forgive me. At least until we figure out what to do with you."

"Merlin, you can't really believe that," Arthur said. "You've told me you're going to explain everything, and I am going to withhold judgment until I've heard it all from you."

"But there will be judgment, to be sure," Morgana murmured.

"That's not what I meant!" Arthur said.

"It's interesting, being bound to your worst enemy in the world, isn't it, Merlin?" Morgana asked.

"We don't have to be enemies, Morgana," Merlin said.

"Merlin!" Arthur said.

"None of us have to be enemies!" Merlin nearly shouted. "She's your sister. There was a time you would have laid down your lives for one another."

"That time is past!" Arthur shouted. "She must die for her crimes."

"Should you die for your crimes, Arthur?" Merlin asked.

"Crimes?" Arthur asked. "I have not always made the right choices, and I have done things I regret, but I can't think of any crimes."

"I doubt the druids would agree," Merlin muttered.

Arthur's face suddenly went pale, and he lowered his voice, bending down to speak almost in Merlin's ear. "Merlin, we have to stop this. You can't go on this way. She has you doubting me, who you are, everything! It's only been a few hours and she has us at each other's throats. We have to execute her now."


	14. Chapter 14

"We can't kill her," Merlin said.

Arthur frowned. After just an afternoon tied to his sister Merlin was forgetting where his loyalties lay. "You asked me just last night if I wanted her dead or alive. You told me you preferred dead. What's changed since then?"

"She told me on the way here that her plan is not over. She told me the people of Camelot would die. What if she's unleashed some plague that only she can cure? We can't take the chance in executing her before we know what she's done," Merlin said.

"I suppose that's reasonable, Merlin, but you can't take two days of this!" Arthur said.

"I can bear whatever I have to bear," Merlin said flatly, and Arthur wondered again what foul deeds Merlin had done secretly to protect him over the years—and what he'd had to endure himself. The things that Morgana had told him to try to drive a wedge between he and Merlin had really only made him realize all over again that Merlin was a dangerous man. He was a dangerous man because a king needed dangerous men to keep him safe and in power–but Arthur was saddened that it had to be Merlin who took on that burden.

Arthur had deceived himself over the years that even though he had taken his naive and rather sweet servant into dangerous and combative situations, he had protected his innocence as best he could. He could not have been more wrong. If anything, Merlin had protected_ his _innocence.

"I guess you're stuck with me, brother," Morgana said.

"So much damage has been done," Merlin muttered wearily. "So many lies and deceptions. If only we could go back...but what would any of us done differently? Being who we were, we made the only choices we could. I do have one regret, though. I should have told you, Morgana. I should have told you who and what I was. I wish I had tried harder to help you see that there was another way."

Morgana looked at him appraisingly. "I suppose I can guess how many times you almost told me. The fear of the fire made cowards of us all."

"Not just fire. I feared you would use the knowledge against me. I had been told by a seer that you would be my enemy one day. I couldn't take the chance that you would expose me as a warlock before I was ready," Merlin said.

"All this time, even when we were friends, you knew we would be enemies?" Morgana asked.

"I hoped we could change our fate," Merlin said. "Now I wonder if such a thing is even possible."

"I've had visions of myself old, and blind," Morgana said. "Do you think that means I win this battle?"

"Am I there?" Merlin asked.

"Always. We fight—a fight that lasts a lifetime—and then you kill me," Morgana said softly.

"Knowing that, why not leave this place and start again?" Merlin asked.

"It's just one possible future," Morgana said.

"I don't_ want_ to kill you," Merlin said.

Morgana smiled a strange, almost wistful smile. "You never _will_ want to kill me. That's just who you are."

It was an altogether strange and almost sweet moment, and Arthur was more surprised than he would ever later admit when Morgana picked up a knife from the table and made to plunge it in Merlin's neck. Merlin seemed to blur, and somehow the knife was in his hand, and his neck was unharmed. What shocked Arthur the most was that Merlin didn't seem surprised at all—even after all the conciliatory words between he and Morgana, he had not been fooled for a second. Of course, Merlin had just said he'd known who Morgana really was for years longer than Arthur had, and that he'd fought her many times. And he'd said he could bear whatever she could throw at him.

Perhaps Arthur should accept that Merlin knew what he was doing.

Merlin handed the knife to Arthur. "I suppose I should have checked the table for weapons," he said ruefully.

"How did you do that?" Arthur asked, amazed.

"I sort of, you know, slowed down time, a bit," Merlin said sheepishly.

"So you could have done that anytime during training, when I made you be my sparring partner?" Arthur asked.

"Yes, but it would have been a short lived victory, because you would have had him burned alive shortly thereafter," Morgana interjected.

"I trust you will not let your guard down?" Arthur said, ignoring Morgana.

"Not if I plan to live to reach Camelot," Merlin said.

"Oh, yes, Camelot is a safe haven where nothing bad could ever happen. You'll all be so much safer when you reach it," Morgana said sweetly.

Merlin looked at Morgana searchingly. "I do hope you are lying about putting the people of Camelot in harm's way, Morgana, but if you're not, we'll have an answer to you queries about changing our fate."

"You'd kill me to save those magic-hating peasants? They are nothing! I should be your queen. You should revere me," Morgana seethed.

"Yeah, well, I don't, so get used to it," Merlin said flippantly.

Merlin stood abruptly, pulling Morgana off balance and twisting her arm as she was forced to get up to follow him.

"Knights aren't supposed to hurt women, Arthur. How can you let him deliberately hurt me, your own sister? It isn't honourable, especially since I'm currently helpless," Morgana said.

"You'll never be helpless, Morgana. And I will never be a knight. I'm one of those nothing peasants you mentioned, but you always seem to forget, that as a fellow bastard, so are you," Merlin smirked.

"How dare you!" Morgana said. She tried to hit him and got restrained by him instead. Merlin had her in a kind of restraining hug that kept her from causing any trouble, but she fought against it for a few minutes before she realized she wasn't going anywhere.

She turned to Arthur again. "You might not be hitting me, or twisting my arm, Arthur, but you're letting your servant do it. You're supposed to protect the helpless, not harm them. What about your precious knight's code?" Morgana asked.

"Merlin's right. You'll never be helpless. And I trust him to do what's right. He has more innate honour than anyone I've ever met, including myself," Arthur said.

Merlin looked at bit puzzled at this and Arthur rolled his eyes. Merlin had been teaching him to do the right thing for years, and even if Arthur didn't always agree or take his advice, somewhere in his heart Arthur knew his friend almost always instinctively knew the right course of action to take.

Merlin dragged Morgana out of the room and Arthur tensely asked Gwaine and Elyan to follow. Although Merlin seemed to have her well in hand, he couldn't imagine what could happen if Morgana found a way to get the upper hand and kill Merlin.

Arthur had thought before and even been told that Merlin was the only reason that Arthur still had a throne—but seeing the way he interacted with Morgana, for the first time Arthur really _knew_ it to be true. His bravest knights trembled at the mention of Morgana's name, but Merlin was not only not afraid of her, he was not even afraid to _mock_ her. Merlin had _slapped_ her earlier, which Arthur wouldn't even have had the nerve to do when Morgana was a fifteen year old brat who knew nothing of her own magic potential. Arthur's rule hinged on Merlin—without Merlin Morgana could defeat him a hundred times before the midday meal.

And as Morgana had so rightly pointed out, Merlin had every reason to support Morgana's rule. He would have been instantly elevated in Morgana's kingdom to some kind of lord, and revered for his talents. Somehow, something about Arthur had persuaded Merlin to believe that Arthur could one day see past his prejudices and change the laws of Camelot and make a just society for all, including people with magic.

For a moment Merlin's dumb optimism almost broke Arthur's heart.

Arthur thought back to all the ways he had betrayed Merlin's faith in him without knowing it; every time Arthur took a stand against magic it must have felt like a knife in Merlin's back. How could Merlin still stand so tall, seem so confident, make jokes…hell, how could he get up in the morning?

And Arthur had tried to _execute_ him? He had _judged_ him? He had even felt _betrayed_ by him?

"I'm the fool," Arthur murmured.

He sat down at the table, looking at the knife that Morgana had tried to use to kill Merlin. Merlin had compromised everything to stay loyal to him, and Arthur had really not been much of a better friend to Merlin then Morgana had.

Why did he always seem to have these monstrous epiphanies when there was no way for Gwen to comfort him?


	15. Chapter 15

Morgana allowed herself to be dragged out of the hall. The humiliation of being tied to and manhandled by Merlin was worth it, knowing what was going to happen in Camelot. Soon they would be begging her to take the throne.

"Where are we going?" Morgana asked.

"Shut up!" Merlin said. He walked quickly, dragging her along behind him.

They went into the woods and Merlin started running, calling out in a language that Morgana had never heard before. When they reached a clearing, the great dragon waited for them.

Morgana looked at him curiously and without fear, sure that he would be her ally. After all, creatures of magic stuck together.

"Why would you call me into the presence of this witch, Merlin?" the dragon asked.

"She plans something horrible for Camelot. I need to get there to stop it, but I don't know how, without releasing her from the spell which keeps her magic bound," Merlin said.

"Then kill her," the dragon said.

Morgana gasped. It was not as though Merlin had not suggested he do it before, but it was different to hear such a thing from the dragon—it cut her deep, like it had when Alator had chosen to ally himself with Merlin instead of her. Why would a creature of magic side with Merlin, and hence Arthur?

"Arthur wants to kill her as an official act, for treason, not for possessing magic. He thinks defeating her will be a powerful symbol, and once she's dead people might feel less afraid of magic," Merlin said.

"Your political maneuverings hold little interest for me, Warlock. Tell me what you wish me to do, or kill her and do it yourself. I will not help you find a way to allow the witch to defeat you once again," the dragon said.

"Could you—go to Camelot, and keep an eye on it? Could you come back and tell me what is happening there?" Merlin asked.

The dragon chuckled. "I am too large to be a spy, friend."

"How can you be friends with a man who allies himself against magic?" Morgana demanded.

"I have no choice, Merlin is a dragonlord. But I like to think I can influence Merlin's decisions when it counts," the dragon said.

Merlin was a dragonlord? Morgana was momentarily stunned by this piece of information and what the dragon said in reply escaped her. How could she fight against a dragonlord, who could turn her dragon around with a word? Aithusa was doomed unless she told Merlin everything.

She hadn't meant to force her only true friend into a trap.

"I'll tell you everything!" she said. "I'll stop the attack."

Merlin looked at her. "What attack?"

"Do you know of a white dragon?" she said.

"Aithusa?" Merlin asked.

"He was supposed to attack Camelot until I asked him to stop, as Queen," she said. "The idea was that the people of Camelot would be worn down by the attack and then eventually would have no choice but to ask for my help-which I wouldn't give until I was made Queen."

"And if Arthur ever tried to take back the throne-" Merlin began.

"-the dragon would attack again," Morgana finished.

"Why are you telling me this? Now you'll be going to Camelot with no plan—as a prisoner—knowing it will mean your own death," Merlin said.

"You used to know me better than this," Morgana said. "Do you really think I'd let a friend go to his death when I could stop it? Whether Aithusa attacks Camelot or not, I'm dead. This way at least Aithusa survives. I miscalculated. I didn't know you were a dragonlord. I didn't know you were allies with the great dragon. I didn't even know he was still alive."

"You always underestimate Merlin. It's because you have such an overinflated sense of your own worth, I think," the dragon said.

"How have I wronged you?" Morgana asked, exasperated by his attitude. "I have never done anything but sympathize with your plight. If I had known how I would have freed you when you were held captive below Camelot."

"I never would have asked you to free me, because I could not stomach being in debt to someone like you," the dragon said.

"I don't understand you," she said faintly.

"You would if you were a better seer," he said.

Merlin called Aithusa. In a surprisingly short time, he settled into the clearing. Even though he had seemed so big and frightening before, when she had thought he was the last, she could tell now, seeing him beside the great dragon, that he was only an adolescent. He was very dear to her. She walked up to him with Merlin trailing close behind, and he put his snout into her hand in a sign of affection.

"Aithusa, the plan is off. We will not attack Camelot at all," she said.

"But you must be queen," Aithusa said.

"Aithusa! You must never attack Camelot," Merlin said in a tone of command.

"Merlin? Do you serve my lady, too?" Aithusa said, seeing Merlin behind her, apparently for the first time. Perhaps he hadn't known exactly why he was compelled to fly to this particular clearing, or perhaps he had thought that the great dragon had called him.

"I do not. In fact, I command you to stop serving Morgana," Merlin said.

"What? How can this be?" Aithusa asked.

Morgana sighed, knowing she couldn't explain it because she wondered the same thing. The great dragon spoke. "Morgana is an evil witch. Even if you never attack Camelot, she will use you to hurt other people without thought, and eventually you will die because her enemies will find a way to fight you."

"My lady is not evil," Aithusa said.

Morgana smiled at his faith. She didn't think she was evil, either. "It's not important why we are enemies. You cannot resist the commands of a dragonlord. There is no way for us to win."

"I will not attack," Aithusa said. "But why are you bound to Merlin?" he asked.

"Morgana is his prisoner," the great dragon said.

"Will they kill you, Morgana?" Aithusa asked.

Morgana felt tears in her eyes, nodding, realizing that she really was defeated now. _She would be executed, as soon as they reached Camelot._ She really had to start fighting against Merlin. She hadn't been, before, because she had thought, once they realized she was the only one who could call off the dragon, they would be at her mercy. Now she realized that allowing Merlin to have the upper hand over her should _never_ have been a part of any plan. She was ridiculously lucky he hadn't killed her already.

She had to get away somehow. How could she get away?

She followed Merlin back in a daze. Her plan was ruined again. By Merlin. Again.

If she couldn't find a way to beat him, maybe she could find a way to take him with her.

"Morgana?" Merlin asked as they walked.

Morgana heard footsteps and looked back, noticing for the first time that there were two knights following them. She had been so preoccupied with keeping her footing before…she wondered which knights were witnessing her defeat…she hoped it wasn't Gwaine.

"Yes Merlin," she replied finally.

"It won't be fire. I promise you that. I won't let Arthur kill you that way," Merlin said.

"Why?" Morgana asked, strangely touched.

"I saw you, when the witchfinder was investigating us. I know how you fear the flames. I know you've only done what you had to do—what you were born to do. I promise you I won't let you burn, even if I have to kill you myself to prevent it," he said.

"Thank you," Morgana said. "I'm sure you'll forgive me if I don't believe you."

"I will," Merlin said. "But I mean every word."

* * *

><p>Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews and support. Big thanks go out to Jane Mays for help with some technical aspects of dragons and dragonlords I didn't understand and for her knowledge of the series. This was a quick re-write so sorry for any typos or mistakes.<p> 


	16. Chapter 16

Mithian brushed her hair slowly, thinking to herself that Merlin was still tied to that—that, well, she couldn't think of a polite term, and she wasn't going to call that—that thing a woman, so she could not go to him and tell him how brave he was for doing what he was doing for Arthur.

He had looked guilty after he slapped Morgana—guilty!

She wished she could tell him what _she_ would do to the conniving bitch if she had the chance.

Morgana had brought Nemeth and Camelot to the brink of war, seemingly just so she could unleash some kind of calamity on her own people without Arthur and Merlin there to stop it.

And, Morgana had discredited her brothers-in-laws as regents, and now Mithian would probably have to be regent herself.

How ironic was it, that by trying to steal her brother's crown, the evil woman had foisted an unwanted crown on Mithian by accident?

"Maybe she did use magic," Mithian said.

"What, my lady?" her maid Elsa asked.

"Morgana. If she used magic to convince the regents to come to Camelot, perhaps Thano and Buri can still fulfill their duties," Mithian said.

"After being duped by a sorcerer?" Elsa asked doubtfully.

"Uther married a troll, and people still followed his orders," Mithian said.

Elsa giggled. In spite of Nemeth and Camelot's good relations lately, the songs about that marriage had bounced off of tavern walls for years—and probably would still be sung a hundred years from now. Mithian felt hope again. Perhaps she could ask Morgana for some kind of proof she had used magic—Merlin would make Morgana help her.

Mithian had Elsa put her hair back up and thought about what she was doing. Morgana had tried to stab Merlin earlier today. Perhaps what she was about to do would put Merlin in danger again. She wouldn't be able to bear putting Merlin in danger—but she had to take the chance.

"Thank you," she murmured to Elsa. She rose and went to the room that had been made up for Merlin and Morgana.

The thought of Merlin and Morgana sharing the same bed made Mithian's skin crawl. In spite of their obvious hatred for each other, or maybe because of it, Mithian had been forced to confront the fact that Morgana knew Merlin much better than she did…there was a certain intimacy in their conversations which set Mithian's teeth on edge. They seemed to have shared so many things—secrets, alliances, magic, betrayal. Suddenly whatever tenuous connection Mithian had forged with Merlin seemed thin and fragile.

What was with Merlin and his penchant for spending all his time with beautiful goddess types?

Mithian tried to empty her face of all concern and jealousy—tried to make her expression a blank—and then knocked gently on the door.

At first she was refused entry, but eventually Merlin heard her voice and he called out that she should be allowed to come in. She walked in and saw a strange tableau. Merlin was sitting cross-legged on one side of the bed, and Morgana was lying with her back to him on her side. Merlin's hand was still tied to Morgana's, and rested on Morgana's hip in an ugly parody of intimacy. There was a knight stationed on either side of the bed, and two outside the door.

"Princess Mithian," Merlin said, his voice deliberately distant. Mithian nodded, understanding that Merlin hoped Morgana would not notice any friendship or affection between the two of them. Mithian understood. If Morgana should get out of this situation somehow, she didn't want to be a target for Morgana's revenge.

"Merlin. I would like to question the lady Morgana about something, if I may," Mithian said.

"Of course," Merlin said. "I can't vouch for whether or not she will tell you the truth."

"Don't you know any spells to make sure I am telling the truth?" Morgana asked.

"Oh, yeah, I suppose I do. Would you like me to do one?" he asked Mithian.

She nodded.

He mumbled something in the old tongue and his eyes flamed.

"How did you get Agravaine to join your cause?" Merlin asked.

"The truth about Nimueh and Uther's deal, and the promise he could marry me when I was Queen," Morgana said.

Merlin laughed softly. "I think the spell is working. She'd never have admitted the promised marriage otherwise."

"I never would have married him. Power shared is power halved," she said.

Mithian looked at Morgana, then at Merlin. "You could ask her what she's planning for Camelot now, couldn't you."

"You're clever. Merlin already knows what was in store," Morgana said. "Ask your question. It has to do with what happened in Nemeth, I suppose?"

"Yes," Mithian said. "Did you use magic to convince my brother-in-law to come to Camelot to help you?"

"No. I thought I might have to, but it turned out a pretty face and a few well-cried tears were enough to completely turn their heads. I must mention that your sisters were fully on board with the plan, too. Not a good showing for Nemeth, I'm afraid," she said.

"Oh, thank you for telling me," Mithian said faintly.

"You didn't want to discredit them?" Morgana asked. She looked surprised, and Mithian realized that the woman bore her no ill will and probably would have told her the truth in any case.

"I think they might make me regent if Thano and Buri are forced out of the job."

"Don't you want to be regent?" Morgana asked.

"I really don't," Mithian said, smiling faintly.

"I heard you could have been queen but turned it down. I didn't believe it," Morgana said.

"Not everyone is a power-hungry harpy," Merlin said.

"I only want what's mine," Morgana said evenly.

"Thank you. I will leave you now," Mithian said, turning around.

"Why not lie?" Morgana called to her.

She turned around. "Tell my nephew that you used a spell to entice them to come here? But I know it to be untrue, as do Merlin and these knights."

"No one would tell. Merlin tells me I shall die as soon as I return to Camelot, and you can make knights swear vows of silence. Merlin is your friend and would do as you ask. Don't do anything you don't want to do," Morgana said.

Mithian smiled sadly. "I cannot lie to Donal. What they did was foolish, and it nearly brought our nations to war. I would sooner find another regent to replace me than allow them to continue."

"I suppose then you will be held in bondage by your own sense of duty," Morgana said lightly. She glanced at her own wrist, tied to Merlin's, and smiled. "I suppose there are worse kinds of bondage."

Mithian nodded and tried again to leave. Morgana stopped her again, saying her name. She paused once more. "Did you need something?" she asked.

"Merlin promised me something, before, but I want you to witness his promise. I don't trust him. He is no knight, and his word is worth nothing. He might keep his word if he makes his promise in front of you, my lady," Morgana said.

Merlin looked at Morgana. "I meant what I said," he said.

"Swear it in front of these knights and your friend," Morgana said.

"I promise you that you will not burn. I'll kill you myself before I allow Arthur to place you on a pyre and light you on fire," Merlin said.

"Thank you," Morgana said.

Mithian finally was allowed to leave the room.

Morgana had been surprisingly sympathetic. If Mithian hadn't known Morgana's true character, and what she was capable of, she might have gone to Arthur and begged him to reconsider his plans to execute his sister. But she did know who Morgana was, and she could not bring herself to feel sorry for the woman.

Mithian wished she hadn't gone to speak to her. She'd only found out things she didn't want to know, and she'd seen again how close Morgana and Merlin really were...tied together by hatred. He knew Morgana's deepest fear—to burn for witchcraft. He knew it because he probably shared it. He would keep her contained until Arthur was ready to kill her, but he wouldn't let Arthur burn her. That showed respect for her, as a person, as an enemy… and it rankled.

Mithian felt like a savage for her next thought, but a part of her was glad that soon the witch would be dead.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: Sorry about the long wait between chapters. I hope posting two chapters at once will make up for the delay. Thank you to all who have stuck with this story and who have alerted or reviewed. **

As they set out that first morning, Merlin was not aware that Morgana had just decided that she was going to fight—he thought she had been fighting all along.

He was wrong.

The first day all she did was plant doubt in his mind about his decision to support Arthur over her.

She reminded him that he had supported Uther instead of Morgause—and Morgause had only been trying to tell Arthur the truth. She wondered aloud how many magic users had died because Merlin had decided that Arthur wasn't ready to be king, and should not kill his father.

She reminded him that she'd always been someone who fought against injustice, and if she'd thought she had a friend in Camelot, perhaps she wouldn't have tried to invade the place with Morgause. But he'd never been honest about who he was, and he'd tried to kill her, and she'd been convinced that if someone who had seemed so good and so caring would turn on her, then everyone else would, too.

She expounded at length about the loneliness of not knowing anyone else like her, and only being able to follow the example of people who wanted to use her for power. She had no one to tell her what was good and what was evil. She'd thought all magic was evil, and if she had it, she had thought she had to be evil, too. She'd never really known someone who only used magic to help people, and although meeting the druids had seemed like a good idea, it had only shown her the injustice of her father's actions in the end.

It seemed anything good or beautiful or precious in her world was destroyed; if not by Uther, then by Merlin himself.

It didn't really work; but he would always wonder, if he had been told that Morgana was the Pendragon who would bring back magic and restore the kingdom, would she still have done such wicked things? Would he have been able to change her behaviour the same way he seemed to have been able to change Arthur's?

That night as he lay in bed, he found himself thinking of ways he could imprison Morgana long term. He had been able to bind her powers in the past—but there were ways around that spell, obviously, or she wouldn't be able to perform magic now. Arthur seemed determined to kill her, but that could all change. It was one thing to know, as a king, that an enemy was too strong to be allowed to live. It was another thing altogether to cold-bloodedly order the execution of a sister and one-time friend.

His ruminations were cut short by the feeling of steely hands suddenly tightening around his windpipe. It was hard to fight back with one wrist still tied to Morgana's. He struggled to breathe, and sought the guards out with his eyes. The fire had died down, it was dark, and Morgana had been quiet. They were watching, and still awake, but they didn't know what was happening.

Merlin reached out with his mind, the way he had been able to communicate with Mordred. He screamed "help" as loud as he could in his mind before realizing, not only that they couldn't hear him, but also that he didn't need their help. His sleep deprived brain and the shock of Morgana trying to kill him had confused him. He looked over at the fire and willed a piece of firewood to float over and smack Morgana in the head.

This forced Morgana to release his throat, although she was still conscious, and also served to alert the guards that there was something the matter. The guards promptly separated Merlin and Morgana, as much as they were able to with the two of them still tied together, and resumed their post.

Morgana and Merlin lay on their bed roll side by side and looked at each other warily.

"Merlin, are you alright?" Gwaine asked. He had volunteered to stay up for the first shift and watch Morgana. His voice was laden with guilt at not noticing his friend was being attacked.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Build up the fire, would you?" he said, his voice croaking after the abuse his throat had taken. "It's too dark, and there's a piece of firewood right here."

"Really, Merlin?" Morgana asked. "Firewood to the head? That bloody hurt."

"My throat isn't feeling all that marvelous, either," Merlin grumbled.

"I probably wouldn't have killed you," Morgana said.

"I thought I told you I bound this piece of leather with magic. It will be virtually impossible for you to get it off, even if I am unconscious," Merlin said.

In the increased light of the built-up fire Merlin saw Morgana's eyes narrow in calculation. Had he just given her too much information? Had she only done that to learn more about the magic that bound them together?

She would know now, that if she wanted to get away, she would have to kill him.

But maybe she thought he was bluffing, or she knew a way to get past magic bindings, because the next day she insisted on walking beside the cart rather than on it. Merlin was initially confused as to why she wanted to walk beside the cart, until she started to trip and push Merlin into it, and at rocks, and trees and other objects that could trip him up or annoy him. He reckoned she was trying to knock him out again.

He tried to get her back on the cart, but she made it impossible with her noise and carrying on and fighting, so he let her walk. She would walk nicely for a long time, and then, at the most unexpected time, she would push or trip or otherwise sabotage him.

"You had me almost believing I'd misjudged you, yesterday. You know, before you tried to kill me," Merlin said, stumbling over a well-placed foot.

"I know how you feel. I mean, when you tried to kill me, it changed everything I thought about you," Morgana said.

"My point is, why did you try to convince me to doubt myself, if you were planning on trying to kill me or knock me out, anyway?" Merlin asked.

Morgana looked over at him, and the haunted look in her eye caught him off guard. "I don't have a plan anymore, Merlin. I'm a cornered animal, and even without magic, a cornered animal is dangerous. What I said yesterday, I meant—but I want more than anything to live. I'll take whatever chance I can get."

The day was hard, and even without all the attempts on his life, walking such a long distance was wearying.

He looked at Gwaine pointedly before settling in to bed. "You had better keep the fire up tonight, Gwaine. I want to actually get some sleep tonight and I don't fancy waking up dead or with a crazed witch on the loose."

"I'm hardly crazed," Morgana murmured against his ear.

"Go to sleep," Merlin said.

"Would you sleep if you knew you were going to be dead in a few days?" she asked.

"You might be a lot more pleasant to be around if you had some sleep," Merlin said.

"Because that's what I really care about, Merlin. Being pleasant to my captors," she said.

"It's not as if we hunted you down. You brought the fight to us and you lost," Merlin said.

Morgana said nothing more for quite some time and Merlin almost drifted off to sleep. Then she spoke again. "Have you ever thought about what it could be like, you and me, ruling together?"

Merlin noted she had moved closer and wondered if she was going to try to seduce him or something. Nimueh had tried to use his baser instincts against him and she had almost succeeded.

"Ruling together?" he asked, his voice low.

"You could be my consort and advisor. I would be Queen, but I would listen to you. I would," she said.

"By consort, you mean, I would be your husband?" he asked.

"I could never marry a normal man. He would have to have magic. You're the only one I could marry—the only one I could respect enough that I wouldn't walk all over him," she said.

"I guess you know yourself pretty well," Merlin said.

"And I know you. I know what it's like to have your friendship. You were kind, supportive; caring…I imagine having your love would be even better," she said.

"And what should I guess about your love, from the way you've treated those you claim to love?" Merlin asked.

"I'm loyal, and I can be good. If I had a partner to help me—someone to keep me from becoming bitter—"

"Morgana, I've had this same offer from others who had hurt me less and it didn't tempt me then," Merlin said.

"Someone as powerful as me?"

"Yes, and it was a time in my life when I could have been tempted. When I thought I would never become the man I was destined to be. Now I have everything I ever wanted. All I have to do is help Arthur to see that magic should return to the land, and I will have it all."

"And what will I have? A cold grave? A woman like me isn't made to be cold. I know you find me beautiful, Merlin. I find you beautiful, too," she said, and, to Merlin's shock, she kissed him full on the lips.

The kiss surprised Merlin because it was hardly a kiss of practiced seduction—she seemed unsure, inexperienced…it wasn't what he had thought kissing Morgana would be like. He had thought about it before, imagined it many times before they had become mortal enemies. She had this air of experience…but she was tentative, and Merlin found himself for a moment taking the lead in the kiss, wrapping his arm around her body and leaning in, inhaling her scent and tangling his tongue with hers.

Then he pushed her away, looking up at the guards. They hadn't made a move. He hoped a little desperately that it was because they hadn't seen anything. "Build up that fire," he said, noticing the low light.

"Yes sir," the guard said.

"Merlin you're a fool," Morgana said, snuggling into his shoulder in a way that annoyed Merlin immensely.

Merlin hoped that Morgana had reached her troublemaking limit for the day, and somehow managed to drift off to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Morgana could not believe that her situation was so desperate that she had stooped to trying to seduce a servant.

And worse than that, she hadn't even succeeded.

She'd offered to marry him and he still wouldn't consider it. It made her kind of wonder just how close he and Arthur were…a little inappropriate contact would explain why Merlin was so inexplicably loyal and committed to her brother.

But it was probably just that he didn't trust her. How could he? She would never be able to trust him.

Marriage was probably a bad idea, but at this point she was open to anything other than execution.

The next day passed in a daze for her, and suddenly she saw the spires of Camelot—of home. She was warmed by the sight, and pleased for a moment that she would get to see her beloved town one more time. That warmth faded as she realized that her home was no longer a place she might long for.

The only thing that waited for her there was a tomb.

"Do you remember your promise?" Morgana asked Merlin as they neared the city gates.

"They will not burn you. I swear it," Merlin said.

"But Arthur may insist. I know what he's like. How can you promise me this?" Morgana asked.

"I will exert all my power and persuasion to ensure it. I know I can convince Arthur. He may not be planning on the fire, anyway. He doesn't want to kill you, Morgana, and he doesn't want to torture you either," Merlin said.

"If he doesn't want to kill me, then why should he?" Morgana asked, feeling tears threaten.

"You're a danger. A relentless danger to everything and everyone he holds dear. A good king makes difficult decisions to protect the people he rules," Merlin said.

"The only thing I threaten is his rule," Morgana said.

"Are you forgetting all the innocent people you've killed over the years? That army I destroyed were dead the moment they made the compact with your sister. Thousands of lives—not to mention all the people they attacked and killed in Camelot. And I bet you'd do it again, if you felt you needed an immortal army," Merlin said.

"Those men might argue that they felt alive enough until _you_ killed them," Morgana said.

"When you ruled Camelot you did nothing but threaten, coerce and torture people who were loyal to Arthur," Merlin said.

"What should I have done? Thanked them for their loyal service to the usurper?" Morgana said.

"He's hardly a usurper. He's the legitimate ruler of Camelot. You're the one born out of wedlock. As such you have to have something better than legitimacy or a sense of entitlement to get the people of Camelot to choose you. You can't turn people from someone they love using fear, especially when justice is on his side," Merlin said.

"Then how should I have done it?" Morgana asked.

Merlin seemed to realize what he was saying and stopped talking. Morgana had seen for a moment the man who Arthur must see—the one who is wise enough to advise a king on matters of state despite being born a peasant and working as a servant for most of his adult life. How had she not see it until now? Of course Merlin had played the fool, the buffoon for a long time, but his intelligence was so obvious when he spoke the way he'd just spoken to her she could see it in his face. He seemed to just know the right thing to do and the best course of action.

"You can say whatever you want to a dead woman. It's said that the dead tell no tales," Morgana said.

"I'm not going to say anything that could help you take this kingdom. Honestly I don't believe that you'll die at Arthur's hand," Merlin said.

"You believe in the prophecy? My visions?" Morgana asked.

"I do find it hard to discount them," Merlin said.

"I don't know what to do. I can't think of anyone in Camelot who would help me. You and Gwen are the closest things to friends I still have there, and I think I burned my bridges when I tried to kill you both," Morgana said.

"I suppose, if it is your fate to die, you will die," Merlin said.

"Would that be a relief to you?" Morgana asked.

"Only because I dread the day I have to kill you," Merlin said.

"Did you kill Agravaine?" Morgana asked.

"Yes," Merlin said. "Although I was considerably less conflicted about it than I would be about killing you."

"Did he know, in the end, that you had magic?" she asked.

"He did."

"Is that why you killed him? To protect your secret?"

"I killed him because he threatened my king," Merlin said.

Finally they entered the city and Morgana stopped talking, amazed by the hatred in the faces of all the people she saw. Some of them had been friends of hers. Some of them had sworn to be loyal to her. Now they were nearly throwing rotten vegetables at her, although fear of her or perhaps fear of hitting Merlin by accident kept them from doing much more than calling out words of derision at her.

"You're right. They truly fear me. Is it my power they fear?"

"They know you would kill any one of them if they came between you and the crown," Merlin said. "They know it because you have told them that with your actions."

"And what has Arthur told them with his actions?" Morgana asked.

"He's told them that he would die for them. You used to know this stuff, Morgana. You used to be like Arthur. I remember when Arthur killed the unicorn, you stole food from the castle kitchens to give to the poor at your own expense. You've forgotten how to be the kind of ruler people can love."

Morgana thought for a moment about what Merlin was saying. She now thought her younger self to be naïve for thinking that giving the peasants her bread would make any difference in the middle of a famine.

They approached the courtyard. "There are many different kinds of rulers, Merlin. Not all have the love of their people."

"Kings tend to die young anyway. Why inspire the hatred of your own people, as well as all the others who want to kill you for what you have?" Merlin asked.

"A king with magic as strong as mine needn't fear anyone," Morgana said.

Merlin leaned closer to her and cast his eyes down on the binding that held the two of them together. "Then why are you a prisoner, very likely to be sentenced to die?"

For that, Morgana had no reply, and she followed her jailor to the throne room to hear Arthur pronounce his sentence.

She heard the litany of things she had done, knowing she was not being falsely accused of any of them. Interestingly, she was not taken to task for being a magic user. She hadn't thought Arthur would have the nerve to leave it off the list of her crimes.

Her sentence was pronounced.

Death by fire.

She looked at Merlin.

"Arthur, please, change your method of execution to beheading," Merlin said.

And Arthur did as he asked.

Morgana was shocked at Arthur's willingness to simply change his orders because his friend had asked him to.

"My, my, you really are his lapdog, aren't you?" Morgana said to Arthur. If she was going to die, perhaps she could cause some trouble for Arthur and Merlin before she did.

"Who is the ruler here? Why should you do what the wizard asks?" a lord asked.

"I have no wish to torture my own sister, no matter how provoking she is. If Merlin thinks that death by fire is unnecessary, I am happy to agree," Arthur said mildly. "He is, after all, the expert on magic."

And that was that.

Morgana found herself once again in a cell below Camelot, still tied to the only man who could actually stand up to her.


	19. Chapter 19

Arthur could not believe it. The biggest threat the kingdom had ever seen was going to be neutralized today.

Neutralized. It was a good, clean word. So much less bloody than the reality. His sisters head, separated from her body. The girl he'd depended on, loved, and worried about, reduced to a bloody pile of meat and bone on his orders.

It didn't feel real.

"Should I do it?" Arthur asked Gwen, for the third time that morning.

"Of course you should. But you don't have to. You don't have to decide now," Gwen said.

"The sentence was already passed. Not one person spoke for her. No one defended her actions. I opened the floor and not one person could come to her defence," he said.

"And yet you don't want her to die," Gwen said.

"I have to do it quickly. The spell which supresses her magic is forcing Merlin into prison with her. It's wrong to punish him because of my own indecision," Arthur said.

"Are you sure he doesn't share that indecision?"

"I'm sure he wants to find a way not to have to kill her just as much as I do. But as it stands the only way to keep her prisoner puts Merlin in all kinds of danger. She's tried to kill him constantly since we left Danson Keep. He's not safe, tied to that woman," Arthur said.

"And what of Nemeth? Have they decided to leave?" Gwen asked.

"After the execution. They want to be sure that this troublemaker who created the problem between our two nations is dealt with before they leave. All I need, more pressure to kill my only remaining blood relative."

"No matter what Morgana did, Nemeth is at fault for breaching our borders. They are in no position to be handing out ultimatums or demanding anything from you," Gwen said.

"I don't mind Mithian staying a little longer. I think Merlin will be happy to have Mithian's support. I know he is conflicted about capturing Morgana and helping me execute her. And I have a feeling he's not nearly as indifferent to Mithian as you think he is."

"What makes you think that?" Gwen asked.

"His complete refusal to talk about her to me," Arthur said, smiling.

"Interesting," Gwen said.

"Well, it will all be over in a few hours," Arthur said.

Gwen looked at him uncertainly, and he acknowledged the point she had made silently. "I know it will never really be over. But the threat will be," Arthur said.

"Every time we destroy a magical threat it seems a new one rises in its place, twice as angry," Gwen said.

"Every magical threat we kill is a casualty on their side. Of course they'd be twice as angry," Arthur said softly. "As long as Merlin stays our ally…"

"He supports your decision to execute Morgana, doesn't he?" Gwen asked.

"I never really asked him if he supported it. I think he feels that it has to be done, but he was talking at Danson about when we were all friends. He may be a dragonlord and the most dangerous warlock alive, but he's still the sweet kid we first met years ago," Arthur said.

"He was reminiscing about the past with you and Morgana?"

"And he even spoke about how we could all still be friends. It was Morgana's fault. She kept on trying to bring up the past. She was trying to turn him against us. For a while there it seemed to be working," Arthur said.

"I know Merlin is loyal to us—I know how absurd it is to even say this aloud—but how could we ever fight him, if he was the new danger in the kingdom that rose to retaliate for Morgana's death?" Gwen asked.

Arthur's silence said it all.

He decided to get some paperwork done before the execution. What he really wanted to do was talk to Merlin, but he couldn't with Morgana right there. Merlin could make Morgana sleep again, but Arthur thought it was cruel to force her to sleep away the few hours she had left.

This whole business couldn't be messier, he thought.

A few hours later he walked out on the dais, looking down at the square where the platform had been erected. They had almost decided to use the courtyard because so many people wanted to watch this one—but Arthur had decided to grant his sister a small measure of consideration by having the crowd remain relatively small.

The crowd began to stir, and Merlin and Morgana walked out towards the platform under heavy guard. They both looked pale and frightened, and Arthur felt sorry for them both. The crowd was silent—probably still frightened of Morgana, despite her helplessness. Merlin took off the leather strap that bound him and Morgana together and stepped away from her, but he didn't go far.

"I'm surprised you're not swinging the axe yourself, Merlin," Morgana said, "Since you seem to enjoy betraying your own kind so much."

"It was not I who betrayed the people of this land," Merlin said. His voice shook.

It was as though Merlin's words opened a floodgate of emotion in the crowd—suddenly they erupted in jeers and catcalls.

The executioner arrived and strong-armed Morgana into place, and the crowd only became more vocal. He raised the axe—

And the whole square erupted into chaos.

People were running and screaming, and it took Arthur a moment to realize why. He felt the pressure of air being pushed down from above and looked up. There was a white dragon descending through the air of the square to land gracefully on the stone paved ground.

Arthur's heart started to pound. This dragon was not nearly as big as the one who had attacked them previously, but it was still a dragon.

"Men, get to your positions," he shouted.

The knights that had been containing the crowd moved to attack the dragon, and Arthur ran down the steps to join them.

When he arrived at the square he saw the dragon had acquired several wounds—there seemed to be not much fight in this dragon.

"Arthur, stop them! He's not attacking anyone," Merlin shouted.

Arthur looked at Merlin incredulously. The place was in ruins, the people had fled in panic—how was this not an attack? Did he think the dragon just showed up for a picnic?

"Attack!" Arthur cried, ignoring Merlin. "Finish him!"

Arthur was not watching Merlin, but he knew in a moment that Merlin had made a momentous choice. Suddenly, Morgana was free, and she was using magic to defend the dragon.

His knights fell from her like tall grass in a strong breeze. He noticed one of the stirring and breathed a sigh of relief that she had only knocked them out, not killed them. It was all over in a moment. Arthur didn't know what to do.

He knew he should try to stop her—try to kill her. But he didn't. He stood and watched her, now unshackled and at full power, walk up to the dragon and assess him for injuries.

"You shouldn't have come, dearest," she said softly.

"Get him out of here, Morgana. See that he stays far away," Merlin said.

"I will. Thank you, Merlin," Morgana said.

Merlin walked up to the pair and looked Morgana in the eye. "While you're taking orders, see that you stay far away, too."

"I can't promise you that," Morgana said. "This is my piece of rock. My land."

"A true king knows the value of his kingdom lies with his people," Merlin said.

"Thank you for not letting us die," Morgana said, and then she kissed Merlin full on the lips. Although he didn't stop her, Merlin didn't kiss her back, either. The kiss was brief and hardly passionate, but Arthur thought it would be damning nonetheless, especially to the knights and lords and ladies still standing on the dais watching what went on below.

"Get out of here," Merlin said harshly.

Arthur tried to raise his voice in objection, but found he couldn't. He had wanted this to happen—alright, not exactly this, but something like it. Something to stop him from killing his own sister.

As evil as she was, he still loved her.

Was it possible that somewhere inside of her, she harboured similar feelings for him?

He doubted it, but she made no move to attack him or Merlin as she patched up her dragon with magic and then got on his back and flew away.

"You let her go," Arthur said dully.

"You were killing him. That dragon could do you no harm. I had ordered him never to attack Camelot. He was only here because he loved her and wanted her to have a friend here as she died," Merlin said.

"You might have told me that," Arthur said.

"I tried. You wouldn't listen," Merlin said.

Arthur nodded. He hadn't listened. It was true.

"What do we do now?" Arthur asked.

"What do you mean?" Merlin replied.

"I'm not about to try to arrest you. I don't want you to leave. I need you here and appreciate everything you've done for me and my kingdom. I am honoured to be able to say that I have your friendship. I can never thank you enough, and I still need you. But I wish to god you hadn't let her go," Arthur said heavily. "How can I ever justify your actions to my advisors and the people of Camelot? You put them all at risk to save a bloody dragon."

Merlin smiled slightly. "Maybe you should put me in the stocks," he said lightly.

"They'll all think you're on her side," Arthur continued, "Especially since she bloody kissed you. You had come so far. The people were beginning to see you like I did, and see how much we needed you."

"You don't really need me, Arthur. You're a great king, all on your own," Merlin said.

"You think your cave is still uninhabited? It was close by. You could stay there for a few months, just until things settle down here," Arthur said.

"What a mess," Merlin said. "It seems like nothing ever happens as you planned it. Somehow it all goes sideways. I'm sorry. I thought we were so close to figuring it all out."

"Take as much time as you need to pack—or stay, if you want. We'll figure it all out somehow. I could never ask you to leave again," Arthur said.

"I think your first instinct was right. I have to leave, at least for now," Merlin said. "Thank you, though, for understanding about what I had to do with the dragon."

"I don't really understand it," Arthur said. "But now I understand a lot more about you. What it cost you to side with me when you could have given in to the bitterness you must feel. How much you must have denied your own feelings in deference to mine. And more than your feelings, you must have been forced to deny even who you are so many times over the years. I know now how committed you are to building a new future for Camelot. I would not question you now, even though I never did get to hear the rest of your story."

"You can come to my cave and hear the rest," Merlin said. "Gwen can show you the way."

"She usually does," Arthur said, smiling.

"Goodbye, my friend," Merlin said. He opened his arms and Arthur stepped into the hug, grasping his friend tightly. "I shall be gone by morning."


	20. Chapter 20

Mithian paced in her room, unsure of what she should do, or even how she should feel.

There were so many ways she couldn't compete with Morgana, not that she wanted to. What kind of fool would get between Morgana and something she wanted? But then, Mithian doubted Morgana even wanted Merlin.

If she did she would probably already have him.

Morgana wouldn't let duty or "acting like a lady" or any other nonsense stop her.

But Mithian did have a duty to her people, and she was hardly going to start seeing Morgana as a role model at this point in her life.

Morgana had escaped punishment, _again_.

Merlin had been forced to choose between his loyalty to magical beings and his king, _again_.

And now Merln was banished, _again_.

Was she the only one who had learned anything? And why had her hard lesson been that her kingdom needed her, at least a few years more? Why couldn't it have been all about letting love in or learning the value of relaxation?

And what had possessed Merlin to let Morgana go? If he wanted to help the dragon so much, why not help him himself? Why release Morgana so that she could? She supposed he hadn't wanted to fight Camelot's people, but in the long run, letting Morgana loose would surely cause more harm than fighting some knights.

She could only conclude that some part of Merlin wanted to let Morgana go, and that Arthur was glad that he had.

How could she respond, as regent? She had trusted Arthur to punish his sister, and he had failed to do so. However, she could hardly complain, because Arthur had been very understanding about her country's breach of Camelot's sovereignty.

She supposed all she could do was make Morgana an official enemy of Nemeth, not that Nemeth needed any more enemies.

And how could she respond as someone who loved Merlin? As someone who had thought he had some feelings along that line himself?

And why, why, why, had Morgana kissed him?

At first she barely heard the knock on the door, but then definitely heard Merlin's softly spoken "Mithian?"

She looked up, and smiled in spite of herself. Even though she knew it wasn't true, even though she knew he'd done things that marked him as a dangerous man and that he was capable of so much worse, he looked like a nervous boy.

There was something bittersweet twisting at her heart, and in a moment she realized what she was feeling. She was disappointed in him. She'd had such faith in him. It didn't mean she loved him any less, but she wasn't just seeing the hero who'd helped her with all her problems anymore.

He'd tried to tell her he was flawed; he'd tried to tell her he was just a man who made mistakes like everyone else. Now she knew she'd idolized him.

"You're packing up then, are you?" she asked.

"You as well, I imagine. I bet you've had enough of Camelot," Merlin said. He sat down at the chair opposite hers in front of the fire.

Mithian grimaced. "Can we not waste time on pleasantries? I must know, Merlin. Why did you do it? You must know there were other ways to help the dragon."

"It's hard to explain," Merlin said, looking at his hands.

"I know you've never really reciprocated my feelings and I shouldn't feel that you owe me an explanation, but I thought we at least were friends. We have one night left in this castle together. I want to know why you did it," Mithian said.

Merlin looked uncomfortable. "I didn't mean that I didn't owe you an explanation. I think I do. I wouldn't have come here if I didn't want to tell you everything."

Mithian didn't say anything and Merlin took the hint and continued with his explanation. "Aithusa—that's the dragon—he was prepared to die to show me that he supports Morgana. It was like—a soldier falling on his sword to protest the orders of his general. I had taken away his choice to fight for her, and he was telling me how much he resented it. Enough to die for what he believed in. I brought him into the world. Dragons—they have to be called into being by a dragonlord. I wanted him to be a friend to me. Dragons are these amazing beings of pure magic…I wanted to bring more magic into the world. Kilgharrah is this amazing creature and it was such a shame he was the last. I suppose I understood his loneliness and I wanted to be a friend to him. To make him the last no longer. It's funny because Kilgharrah would be the first to tell me to kill Aithusa. In fact he already has told me that."

"You never mentioned Morgana. Why not simply help the dragon? Why have Morgana do it?"

"I'm sorry. I'm babbling…not being clear…He was saying he'd die if she did. It was strategic, and if I had helped him he'd have found another way to fall on his sword. I had to let her go or see him die. I wasn't prepared to see him die. Morgana…I've readied myself for her death so many times I could have watched her die without any problem. I would have been sad, but at this point I could kill her myself. I couldn't watch Aithusa die. Not today. I'm sure I will do one day, but I couldn't do it today when I knew how to stop it."

"So it had nothing to do with you having feelings for Morgana?" Mithian asked.

"No. Nothing. I admit that I will always feel conflicted about our dealings with each other, and I will always feel that something different—some other way—was possible if only we'd thwarted fate…she was my friend and although I hate her a part of me will always pity her. No one helped her but the very worse of us. Magic users in Morgana's life left her with a wrongheaded impression about the reality of magic…the best lacked all conviction and the worst were full of passionate intensity."*

Mithian was satisfied. Regret she could live with. "What will you do now?" she asked.

"I have to leave. I am going into voluntary exile. And you? Do you return to Nemeth to be regent after all?"

"Yes, despite all my protestations I think I do. I don't know why I should. Probably I'll make even worse mistakes than the current regents. Yet my nephew trusts me."

"The people trust you, too. And they love you," Merlin said.

"And I love them, which is why I go to this fate I so despise," she said.

"For how long?" Merlin asked.

Mithian noticed for the first time how close together they had somehow become. Their noses were inches apart. "Will you wait for me?" she asked.

"I will marry no other. But I'm sure you will," Merlin said.

Mithian felt a stab of pain somewhere in the region of her chest. "You think I will betray you?"

Merlin smiled, somehow in the space of the smile going from a young boy to an old man. "I think you will grow up, and realize that the bastard son of a dragonlord promised in service to a king you can never swear allegiance to, who swears he has a great destiny to restore magic to the land, is a terrible choice for a husband. And when that happens, you must go and marry some nice man from your kingdom who wants the same things you do. Has the same values."

"I value honour, and loyalty, and love. I think thus far we are compatible," Mithian said.

"I value those things, too. But I don't personify them."

"I don't expect you to!" Mithian exclaimed.

"I have neither the skills nor the inclination to be a knight or a king. I have the skills to be a politician, a councillor, an assassin…everything shadowy and illusory, nothing glorious and noble like you seem to think I am. And, you see, it's not that I'm not your courtly love that makes me draw back. It's the fact that it's not your king I serve. You could forgive my trickery for your own country, but not for Arthur's."

Mithian gave a shaky laugh. "I don't think I've ever heard you talk so much at one stretch."

Merlin leaned back in his chair, nearly looking defeated. "You won't be convinced."

"You can't convince love away," Mithian said simply.

"You see…I didn't want to say this, but I was going to confess my love for you before this thing with Morgana. But when we were tied together, I found out something I'd never known."

Mithian felt tears in her eyes. "You loved her."

"Once. I loved her once. It was such a childish and fleeting thing and she was so high above my station in life I never really acknowledged it to myself. But I found out, being tied to her…it's the things I loved about her then that I hate now. Her playful archness, her passion, her commitment to the things she believes in…they haven't changed, but my feelings towards them have. She makes me sick for the very reasons I was once drawn to her. I couldn't bear it if you felt one day that my loyalty to Arthur and to magic and my willingness to do anything, even alter the laws of nature for those two things, were disgusting. And I may be foolish sometimes, but _I know you would feel this one day_. In some things I count myself wise. I can see into the hearts of men. I know any union between us would fail."

"I see I cannot alter your opinion. I do find it hard that you're blaming me," she said stiffly.

"No! Mithian, no! I love you. I honestly do, and if it would do you any good at all to be with me I would go to you with open arms and a clear conscience. But I can't. You deserve a man who would make you his whole world. A man you could understand. I'm not for you…I don't think I'm for anyone. I was…made…for Camelot. I was not made to fall in love," Merlin said.

The tears in his eyes made them all the bluer, and Mithian found her anger weakening. He loved her. Truly. She could tell. The most powerful, beautiful man in all the world, with his impish smile and his terrible destiny…and he loved her. She suddenly wondered if that was all she had wanted, all along—simply that he return her affection—because now he had, she felt the bare futility of any shared future between them.

"The fates should have given you a colder heart," she said, with a smile through her tears.

"I wish they had," Merlin said.

Author's Note: I think this might be the end, unless I've left some horrible loose end that is tormenting anyone (let me know). Sorry for making you wait this long for a final chapter. I may write more in this world, but if I do it will likely be after the new season so might turn weird and even more AU than it already is—so I might just say I like writing Merlin a lot and these two stories got me through the hiatus, and I could be back with a post season five story or two. Sorry if I made a Mithian/Merlin shipper out of anyone and then dashed their hopes. I didn't really intend for this ending to be as definitive as it turned out. I didn't intend to spend so much time and energy on Morgana, either, but she's so fun to write and the history between her and Merlin is so rich it's pretty hard to resist.

*Paraphrasing Yeats' "The Second Coming" in the last line even though it's a total anachronism. Couldn't resist. Too perfect.


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